Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The one with plotting another exit

Finally I have a way out. Another chance for a new start. I will be taking my 'talents' to Jalan Ampang. Also it will be back to what I used to do.
Now that I will be heading back to my previous field, I need to brush up on the latest market developments. Also need to find my swagger back and get my revenge (the revenge part was just for dramatic effect).
The timing is just nice too. Our 'bonus day' is this coming Friday. After that, I will tender my resignation and serve my notice (1 month).
I now have a chance to get my career back on track. I can try to regain that 'lost year' in my career. 
I for one know the grass is never greener on the other side, but the move was solely for the money. Given all my financial woes, the increase is very much needed.
While most people will see this a pick-me-up, I refuse to believe that my life is changing. Because knowing me, there will be a sick punchline somewhere, the killing joke as one may say.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The one with the exile from sports

My "exile from sports" still continues. Though no one really noticed or missed me except one teammate.
With all the work issues and personal problems I have, playing was the one thing that helped me forget about it all, even for a while. Doing what I do on the courts, will help de-stress and keep my sanity in check. It was the one thing I know where I can be awesome and help me feel good about myself.
But lately, I guess everything is taking its toll on me. I no longer have the same swagger and mojo to play. I'm not even confident in my own game. With this loss of confidence, I have bad and lousy games, which I can't take. Playing was the one thing that can help me be awesome, but if I keep having bad games, what am I?
With all this said, I find myself no longer having fun playing. Which is really the point of playing - having fun. But now that I'm no longer having fun, I guess I should just walk away or stay away.
The Mrs says I'm in my head too much. I think too much. But that's what I am. I have 'high' standards to my play. I want to entertain, I want to keep the game sexy. But now I can't seem to do anything right.
How long will I be out? I have no idea. I need to find that spark that ignites my interest in playing again.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The one with 300

Finally, I've reached another landmark post. My 300-th post. And I thought I would have reached 300 a long time ago.

Monday, March 5, 2012

The one where Aidan turns 6-months young

Today, my son Aidan Danial turns 6 months. It has been an absolute joy watching him grow and develop.
I remember when I first laid eyes on him, he was so small and tiny. Today he has grown a lot. From the 2.65 kg when he was born to the 7.8 kg now. From the 41 cm in length to the 65 cm tall baby now.
So at 6 months, its plain to see that Aidan has his mother's eyes and smile. And that cheeky grin from me.

Aidan at 6 months with his favourite toy Fin-fin

The one with no more will and desire to play

I guess things just keep downhill for me. For the past couple of months, I have no desire and will to play. To make things worse, my game also is falling apart.
People who know me, will know that I'm one of those 'ever-present' kind of player. I will play where ever and whenever there is a game. Just to clarify, game here means either basketball or tennis or futsal. Now I don't play as much as I do, and also I'm not even half the athlete I used to be.
I used to take pride in the fact that I can play 3 types of sports in 4-5 days a week. Now I can't even make it for once a week. Even if I do show up, its just to help make the numbers and I only do selective running.
Coincidentally, as I write this, Spurs Malaysia will begin their selection process and training for the upcoming tournament in April. Last year, I would have been first to throw my name in the hat but now I'm contemplating whether I want to even tryout myself.
Is this the price I'm paying for playing too many games in the past few years? Have I really burned myself out for good this time?