The one with my failings

Where did it all go wrong? When did the brutal fork in the road happen? I've been plagued with these questions everyday. Wasn't I destined for greatness? Wasn't the human race suppose to kneel before me?
I will be first to admit that I have failed everyone. I have failed my family. I have failed my parents. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have failed myself.
I'm going to be 33 in the middle of the year and I am nowhere near where I want to be. I can't even provide for my wife and kid.
I also will be first to admit that all this is my fault. It comes down to the financial mess I put myself in. I am way deep in debt. My salary is not enough to last the month. I can't even clear my credit card mess. Even if I do manage to clear a chunk of it, I end up using the available balance again. My cards are near to maxing out, I still have personal loans to service as well as my automobile financing. This does not include the bills I help my parents pay for the house. All this is now added with the fact that I now owe someone money.
All this because I lived beyond my means early in my career. I didn't properly manage my finances and didn't figure out how to budget my spending then. I thought I could manage because I believed I was going places. How wrong I was. Now my career has stalled.
So what does my financial mess have to do with my failings? Mainly, I have yet to own any property. I don't even have any savings to put as down payment, and now with my lousy credit standing, I doubt I'll be able to get any home-financing. I can't expect to stay in my parents house or in-laws house forever. Aidan will out-grow the confines of my bedroom one day. And what if Aidan were to have a sibling?
Now to add to that, even my dad pointed the fact I have yet to own a house. He finds it embarrassing that as a man and head of family I haven't even purchased a house. He also pointed out, that when my sisters got married, their husbands already or made in rows to buy a place. I tried, but due to my mess, I can't even think of getting one.
My dad suggested I buy my mum's place. As much as I want to, I can't even afford it. He wants me to buy it as he doesn't want the property to leave the family. And also, he is trying to help me out with a place.
Am I really underpaid and shortchanged here? I would like to think I am. People with my experience are already or if not getting a 5-figure salary, I am not even halfway close. I envy my friends who go places. Who travel to London almost every 3 months. Who go on overseas vacations to unwind every quarter. I envy those who can provide comfort for their families. But who am I to question 'rezeki orang' right?
So at the end of it all, it all comes down to me and make do with what I have.

The one with the department mess

This post can also be called the one with the mass exodus. A sad unfortunate tale really, but at the end of the day, people have to look out for their livelihood and also their own happiness.
Lets go back to the start of 2011. The department had 18 permanent staff. And now come January 2012, we have 6 from that 18 still in the department while 3 are serving their resignation notice. Of the 6, 5 of them are from my Ops & Dealing team and the other is the Acting Global Head. The Ops & Dealing team is the only team intact, while the others have already disbanded. The Sales & Training, Commodities, Capital Markets, Compliance and Marketing teams in the department has been vacated. Surprisingly this shortage is only being addressed now.
Why the mass exodus? Well for one, some have followed our former Global Head to her new gig. Some have better opportunities elsewhere and one decided to take his talents to the middle east. But whatever the reasons are, the 10 who left after the former Global Head left, decided to look for an exit after the Acting Head failed to do his job properly as well as living in his own world. It may be easy to blame the Acting Head, but thats the main reason they left.
So why is my unit the only unit intact? For one, we have a boss who takes care of his staff. Which is the reason why we are still on board. But for how long? Morale in the department is at an all time low, despite we were all (deservingly) rated as OutStanding in the recent appraisal. We are asked to help fill in for the vacant slots. Some are not even within our current skill set. While this does give us the opportunity to learn, expand and widen our experience, but moving forward this is not a long term solution.
I've been given assurances my future is safe and my boss is proposing a promotion in order to keep me on board. With everyone gone, after the Acting Head and my boss, I'm the one with the experience left. Sadly, despite the shortage of manpower and also no signs of anyone coming in, we are still assigned the now impossible targets to achieve. The targets has risen, but with the same client base.
Now it is a clearer sign the my decision to stay was the wrong choice. For now, I will stay on board, wait for the bonus (if any) and increments (if any), before deciding my next move. But I foresee the department's future itself is bleak and I should seek a new job on the unemployment line.

The one with a good game of basketball

Basketball Wednesday last night. The story of the messing booking was in the previous post.
After last week's massive turnout, the Wednesday session turned into an invite-only session. Exclusive for those who got the SMS invite. I, for one am honoured to be on the guest list.
Finished the game with 9-points, 12-rebounds, 3-assists and 2-steals. Great scoring night for me. Only took a couple of ill-advised shots. But happy to see some shots go in. One of them was a Dirk Nowitzki-esque jumper. Hit some runners in the lane, low post hook shots and some off the miss rebounds shots in mid-air.
It was finally nice to get my groove going in basketball.

The one with the poor service

Here is something different from all the sports related posts I've posted in 2012. Its about service and somehow either due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time or just damn dumb luck, I always seem to be the victim.
Let's begin with what use to be my favourite joint, Subway. As most of you know, I enjoy going to Subway. I promote it almost everyday on twitter. Every time and the Mrs go out, we must make sure there is a Subway chain in it. So one day, during lunch, I decided to go Subway. I went to an outlet where I'm a regular customer. When I arrived, I could smell the freshly baked bread. I thought to myself, "yeah, freshly baked bread". As I was just to make my order, the lady told me they ran out of bread. I in turned enquired and pointed out, "what is all this then, isn't this bread?". She told me the bread is to be delivered to another outlet. I was outraged. I thought all outlets have their own baking machines. Why must another branch bake for another?. And I am just one customer, don't tell me you can't serve me. I then left and thanked them loudly for the inability to serve one of their regulars.
I then vowed on twitter and facebook, that Subway has lost one of their regular customers. I know I'm being harsh because it is only one outlet, but for me, it just happened at the wrong time. While crossing the road to the Subway, a car ran over my feet. It was a red light for motorists and they somehow did not see people walking and crossing the road. And so, since then I haven't dined at Subway. It wouldn't teach them a lesson anyways, because they only lost one customer out of the million customers they have. Losing me as a customer would not effect their business revenues in any way. The Mrs in turn is relieved that my first suggestion for food is Subway sandwiches.
Next is my regular futsal and basketball joints.
For futsal, we have been regulars at this futsal joint for the past 8 years. I join 3 sessions there on Tuesday, Friday (though optional and cameo only) and Saturday.
Last Saturday we were asked to start later, at 5:20pm instead of at 5:00pm. The management cited the previous group started late. I said I was having none of it. They started late, that is their problem. My team knows the game is at 5 and they are all ready by 5 to 5. This is called time management. I got into a row with the group, telling them that they should manage their time properly. I told them, if there is no session after yours, then by all means, extend your playing time. But my session has been block-booked since 2004. We have been playing here way before they came. If you told me 5 more minutes maybe I can understand, but 20 minutes - no *bleep*-ing way. Told them we all have plans after the game, some have dinners or family events to attend and in my case go back to bathe my son. Maybe 20 minutes to you is nothing, but for me its very precious. In the end, the owner of the joint came in and told them to continue playing on another court.
Last night it was our basketball's joint to make a mess of things. The group has been playing since 2008 with a block-booked slot for Wednesday nights at 9:00pm. Last night they told us to start at 9:30pm. The previous week they messed up our 2-hour slot by double booking the 8-9 hour. So last night I gave them a piece of my mind (despite the fact I'm not the organizer for this session). I totally lost it when the guy told us that extending sessions is normal, since some people start late. I gave him the same earful as I did on Saturday. We also stated that this session has been block-booked since 2008, and the group before us only started playing last month. That group booked from 7:30pm to 9:00pm, but only came to play at 8:35pm. Well whose fault is that? In the end, I think the guy couldn't take it and when his boss arrived he ran away. The boss then said he did not authorize for the group to extend. So I guess the guy was messing around with the bookings.
Yes people, I do get angry when people mess around with my time.

The one with a great goal

Last Saturday was the first futsal saturday kick-off. Finished with 4 goals and 2 assists.
My first, was a personal favourite and one I enjoyed and also my friends 2 sons who were watching the game.
My teammate Kaleon chipped a corner to me, I controlled it with my right knee, brought it down and switched the ball to my left and hammered the ball home. Great goal where i wished ESPN was there to catch it for their Plays-of-the-Day.
Here's to more beautiful goals.

The one with the first tennis match of 2012

So last night I completed my futsal-basketball-tennis back-to-back-to-back tri-fecta. It felt great to be back on the tennis court.
My game however, did not go too well. My forehand wasn't working. I mistimed some shots and even miscued some of my shots too. My backhand still remains a weakness. My serve wasn't sharp enough.
We only managed one set of play since we spent the first hour trying to get our games back. In the end, me and Effi lost to Raez and Shahrin 2-6.
Hoping for a better performance in the next game.

The one with the first basketball game of 2012

Last night was the first basketball game for 2012.
It was the basketball Wednesday session and also the first time we were going for a 2-hour session. Sadly the joint messed up our booking and allowed us to start 8:30pm.
Another sad note was the reduced playing time. Turnout last night was 19 players and we were playing 4-on-4 halfcourt. So I only managed 3 games and I left at 9:30pm.
I couldn't find any rthym and only in my 3rd game I managed to put points on the board. First was a low post hook shot and second was a textbook executed mid-range jumper. I finished the night with 2 points 9 rebounds and 4 assists.
The organizer will try to get a 2-hour slot and try to manage the numbers. As fun as it was to play, the limited playing time is no fun.

The one with the first futsal game of 2012

Kicked off my futsaling activities last night. First game for 2012 and first futsal Tuesday kickoff for the year.
A very open game with plenty of end-to-end action. Goals galore since no one really cared about defence. I lost track of the final score.
I bagged a hat-trick and also laid out one assist. The first was simple enough, I collected a through-pass from Shanaz and side-footed the ball through the keepers legs. The second was an ESPN worthy highlight. Collected the ball in my own half, dribbled the ball all the way to goal beating everyone. Managed to squeeze in a shot when I stumbled after the keeper saved my initial shot. My third was scrappy. A goal-mouth scramble after I hit the post from a yard. My assist was a defensive clearance to Nasim who banged it home.
A good fun game overall.

The one with the year that was 2011

Happy 2012 people. May the new year bring you health and happiness.
Planning to post a review of my 2011. No outline of how I'm going to write this, so I'll just write as I go along.
First the main highlight of the year. The birth of my son, Aidan Danial. He came to this world on 5th September 2011 at 6.06pm. He came in weighing in at 2.65kg and 47cm in length. He will be 4 months in a couple of days, and the last check-up before Christmas he weighed 6.1kg and grew to 60cm in length.
On the sporting front, this year was the first year I decided to keep track of my stats in futsal and basketball. Yes, after all these years of playing and I've only decided to keep track of my stats when I'm past my prime.
In futsal I played a total of 64 games (eat your heart out you overpaid-footballers-who-say-you-play-too-many-games). In those 64 games, I racked up 108 goals and 112 assists, averaging 1.7 goals and 1.8 assists a game.
I've participated in 2 futsal tournaments. The KHR-organized tournament was ill-fated but the EPL supporters club fared better for me.
In basketball I've made 32 appearances and averaged 7.1 points, 15.1 rebounds, 6.9 assists, 1.4 blocks and 2 steals a game.
While I didn't keep track of my tennis stats, I did feel this was the year I improved. I felt I stalled in 2010, but think I got it together in 2011. It might not be on Roger Federer's level, but enough for me to enjoy the game.
Career wise, this year was a lost and wasted year. Nuff said.
For my beloved Spurs, 2011 was a roller coaster with plenty of ups and downs. Among the highlights was reaching the Elite-8 of the Champions League and being 3rd in the league going into 2012. The low-points was missing out of the Champions League as well as too-many dropped points in games where we should be winning especially when our rivals have lost. My player of 2011 is Luka Modric, followed closely by Gareth Bale.
A lesson I learned in 2011 was finding out who my friends are. And this was a majority of friends from when I was working in the treasury line. It seems after I left the line, I was discarded and cast aside. Only one person from the line remained a true friend. The rest, just choose to forget me. It was obvious they only needed me for business relations and nothing else. Even during the days leading to the 'decision' a lot of them called me up, but then stopped calling after I didn't take my talents to the 13th floor.
2011 was a mixed year, with the birth of my son being the highlight. May 2012 be better than 2011.