The one with my debut as kipas boy

The final leg of the Farrish-Ida wedding has been completed. It went smoothly and well without any glitches. Congrats again to the bride and groom. As for me, I made my debut as kipas boy.
Well we all had an early start to the event. Early start meaning rehearsals. We did two takes. The first was probably just to see how the flow went, which is probably why the first take was long. Second take was a breeze. After the rehearsals, I went home, since it was nearby to get ready and shave. I didn't wear the suit from home though. Wore it at the hotel in Farrish's honeymoon suite. While I was there I helped myself to some grapes. While Ida was getting ready and waiting for the others to arrive we watch some TV. They were showing the making of Star Wars Episode 2.5. Looks cool as it was action packed.
Before heading down, we (bride & groom and best man & bridesmaid) waited for our cue to go down. And when we were down, we waited near the hall for the entrance que. Killed some time by taking some photos. Then Shah arrived as he saw us waiting outside. I passed my camera to him, since I wouldn't be able to take pictures while kipas-ing the groom.
My friends later mention that I was kipas-ing Farrish as if I was kipas-ing satay. Guess my Kajang roots had a role in that. Or maybe I do move at a different speed.
Finally it was showtime and in my mind I had the Joker's quote "and here we go". The hardest part for me was pacing myself, as I had to move slower than usual by taking smaller strides. On stage, did my part, kipas-ing the groom, cleaning his hands from the merenjis part and smile. After that was pretty much straight forward. Escorting the bride and groom to the main table and later after that to the cake.
Amryl gave the speech for the groom's side. Nicely done may I add. And he manage to keep politics out of the speech.
So finally the event was done. All the guests left except family members and close friends. Once the guests left, we took the opportunity to ask the live band to play some rock numbers. We just needed to rock and dance. Well Amryl and Shah were all out for it. And it was pretty much contagious as others began rocking. It is a sign that we are way overdue a karaoke session.
Oh, in case you are wondering, the bridesmaid's name is Arfah. I just followed her lead most of the time. She is a doctor based in Seremban. She was stunning that night and not forgetting to mention she has a great sense of humour. Chemistry wise, we did click. And yes, I did get her number.
It was opening day for the English Premier League, and my Spurs lost. But I had a great night, so I didn't really care about that. Last of all, my resemblance to Clark Kent / Superman didn't escape most people. So much for keeping it a secret.

The one with the net reconnected

Finally I have access to the net. After being 'logged out' for the past 2 nights, its good to be back online. As for my previous post, well it was by request of an office colleague. And I watched Step Up 2 for the second time last night. Can't wait for the DVD.
So what’s new, or more like what’s the story. Well times haven't really been good as of late. Not sure whether if its due to fatigue or just bored stiff or in the words of philosopher Cobain 'life sucks.......'.
Well work for one is one thing. Not sure if you can call it reaching the crossroads but I'm at the point where I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm partially bored with what I'm doing. The only good thing is my hours which allows me to have a whole lot of free time. Maybe I want to try other products and get my name back in the market. I even thought of quitting and try to do something more fulfilling.
I had a chat with one of my strike-force futsal partner about this. For him, climbing the corporate ladder would require some backstabbing and making full use of your connections. But once you put your hand in the cookie jar, you can't get out. In my line of work, the payback is very lucrative, well back in 70s and 80s anyways. Now with the Central Bank's regulation, its not as easy as it use too. I want to do something which I'm more passionate about and really be in my element. Sadly, there isn't a market for that line of work.
Another discussion with an office colleague who partially has the same issues as me. However for him its different. He has to think about his family before making his move. How to provide the basic necessities for his wife and kids. As for me, sink or swim I'm on my own.
Futsal wise for me as late has not been good. Haven't really been my creative-inspirational-genius-self. But that’s something I can overcome in time. Just need the 'me-against-the-world' mentality to get my edge back.
Another note is my relationship with women. I don't know why as of late, when I go out with a girl, the chemistry isn't there. Not that there should be instant chemistry (which would be great and save me the trouble). Its like 'we just don't click'. There isn't really anything in common to talk about or the wavelength is totally off. I know opposites are good, even my ex-girlfriend was an opposite of me but we found some common ground somewhere. Its not like I'm asking for a girl who is a Spurs fan. Just someone I can click with.
Sometimes I feel like I'm to careful and play my cards close to my chest. Too scared to get hurt again. To scared to be betrayed/cheated/lied too again. Some say that I don't express my emotions anymore and I’m too wooden. Some say I'm too choosy, but is being careful choosy? Some even said because I treat the whole thing as a game.
Thinks that one long post today. Must be due to the 'logged out' factor.

The one where I remembered what happened on Federal Territory Day last year

A flashback post. Well I haven't join the blogosphere this time last year. If I did, I would have posted about it. It was probably one of the best days of my life (well for 2007 anyway). Its nothing that would make front page news or tabloid material.
FT day last year I went out with you-know-who. Not sure if you can call it first date, but more like first 'hanging-together' (to be on the safe side). We did typical stuff, movies (The Holiday) and Starbucking. I had great fun and really enjoyed the company. I even remember our 2nd outing on 15 February (yes I somehow remember these things) because I was 10 seconds too late to ask her out on (a now very commercialized) V-Day.
Guess I was really in one of those moods (I don't know thw word here). But I'm not really crying about it or anything. Another one of life's experience and lessons.
On Thursday night, All For Love singers (no not Sting, Rod Stewart and Bryan Adams, but Farrish, Shahreza and myself, in karaoke anyway) hanged and chilled at Coffee Hut. Which turned into a session where we played with Farrish's new iPod Touch. Damn its a very cool toy. And now, I'm planning to get one for myself. I know I have a PSP, but now is the age of technosexuals, the more techhy the better. But the price for the iPod Touch is steep. Retailing at RM 1400 for the 8 gig version at authorize Apple sellers. And bonus (if any) will be in June and my birthday is still a long way off. I also have my eye on the Macbook Air, but that would really cost an arm and a leg.
Guess I really want to have more toys than NASA.

The one where I bumped into my ex

The start of another 4-day work week. I love these short weeks. My voice recovered and so it was business as usual.
Anyways, bump into my ex-girlfriend of 3 years at the KL Sentral monorail station. I was leaving the station and she just reached the station. Ever since the split we rarely cross paths. Both living in opposite sides of Klang Valley and we both work heading towards opposite directions. Anyways it was good to see her again, just the friendly hello and short chit chat. The first thing she noticed was that I was 'wider' then she remembered. Guess its really that obvious. And as for her she looked great. I forgot to ask about if she is already married. She did mention once that she was getting married somewhere last year.
After parting ways, those memories came flashing back. Three years which I've erased somehow had a backup folder. Then I asked myself, why did I throw it all away? Then, I left it at that. No point thinking about what could have been. We both moved on with our lives and grew wiser and stronger from the experience.
Now to re-focus on the now.

The one with the dare

Something different and it all happen during my lunch break yesterday. Had lunch at Mickey Dees with my colleagues. As usual while eating we were checking out the scene for any CIOs.
Finally there was one worthy of our attention. Each came up with their own analysis on the CIO. She and her colleague order a large take away order. And we were all wondering why on earth didn't she just use the McDelivery service.
So we all made our own analysis on the CIO. My interpretation was she was very fashionable but could use a new watch. Another said she is the type that likes to please. But she was the focus of own attention for a good 15 minutes.
Then my colleague made a dare with me. He put RM 50 on the table, and wanted me to go up and offer my assistance in the heavy lifting. And did she need help in the heavy lifting. Seems like she was ordering for like 50 people. Hopefully it was to some orphanage of some sort. She did seem the Angelina Jolie humanitarian type.
They even offered me some lines to use (which worked for one of them). However, the Mickey Dees staff were all lining up to help. So in the end I didn't offer to help. There goes a good fifty bucks which could be put to good use by taking her out for some Starbucking experience.
Oh well, probably next time, hopefully my window of opportunity is still wide open.

The one with the 99

Actually I shorten the title since the original title was 'The one with the Heartbreak Kid, art exhibition, confirmation karaoke, ex-Affin Discount treasury gathering, sick me, Alvin & The Chipmunks and I am Legend'. Very long title and around a weeks worth of material.
So post-chemical-romanced I went to check Heartbreak Kid, very funny. Was laughing throughout the movie and being typical Ben Stiller comedy, it was worth the laughs. The movie also had an underlying message (okay, obvious message) which had me thinking (for a bit). Something for me to solve in 2008.
Got invited (last minute) to an art exhibition at the Petronas Gallery in KLCC. Think I was invited due to the fact that I was in a walking radius to KLCC and also the fact this circle of friends have not seen me in ages. Anyways small promo for the exhibition, its called 'The Independence Project' and will be in display till 10 February 2008. While you at it, check out the piece by Vincent Leong (the friend who helped me with my 5 seconds of fame). A very cleverly done piece. Anyways, the exhibition reacquainted me with some friends I haven't met in ages, including one who I cared for dearly. Anyways, didn't' expect to see her there (but glad I did) and think she was surprised (I hope in a good way) to see me there. Somehow it felt awkward and we ended up making small talk, the usual hows things/life/work? And to think at one time we could talk about anything spontaneously.
As posted earlier, I've finally got my confirmation status. And to celebrate (meaning buying the whole desk dinner) we went for karaoke. Rocking good session as this time the gloves were off and there was no holding back the rockstar. Didn't have much room though but made the most of it. Anyways good fun, and a colleague mention that my rendition of Bon Jovi's Always was well done. She mention that when I do rock numbers it works with my voice, but so much on the slow numbers. Well that was comforting to know, I was worried all this time I was making noise.
Last weekend, the ex-Affin Discount treasury department finally had their gathering at Kak Yam's place in Lavender Heights. Some sort of pot luck event, but this time I didn't have to make pasta. I was just needed to bring grapes. Since Kak Yam was preparing the main dish and Fatin was bringing the chicken. Usually I'm the first to arrive, but this time Fatin arrived before me. Kak Yam's son was at summer camp so no FIFA Street on Playstation friendly. Anyways it was nice to see everyone again. It was probably one of the best group of people one can start their career with. Very close-knit group and like my parents they also share my parents concerns and worries (not career wise).
After the gathering I drove like the wind to make it for futsal Saturday (and to think I got this far without mentioning futsal). Played a mediocre game, maybe due to all the food I ate, but still had glimpses on genius here and there. Was feeling sick after the game. Suffered diarrhea as well as puking my guts out. Didn't feel good at all the whole Sunday. Was in bed the whole day, but was up and about the next day. Which by the way I'm on leave and will be back at work on Flyday.
Went for a double feature today. Alvin and the Chipmunks and I am Legend. The Chipmunks was a fun flick, just to laugh and here them sing. Still preferred the cartoon tough. As for I am Legend, overall it was good but I felt the ending was kind of weak. Then again, it was kind of hard to come up with a stronger ending than that.
Now its time for my medication.

The one where I hate this feeling I'm feeling

Here's a post where I'm trying to express what I'm feeling inside. Maybe to try to let out what is going on in my mind. As of late I do look a little lost. I'm not sure how this post will turn out, but just see where all the typing takes me. To sum it up in song, listen to James Morrison's The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore.
I'm the type of person who keeps everything inside regardless how I feel. I know its not good and probably be the death or currently downfall of me. For one, I keep my true feelings for someone inside. I care a lot for this particular someone but it seems we enjoy hanging with each other I fear we fallen into the 'friends zone'.
So why don't I just tell her how I feel. Well for one I don't want to spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you". And two, because the last time I did that it didn't turn out well. But that was probably ill-advised and wasn't really in my league.
If I was enjoying hanging with her, why do i feel like this. Earlier this week I suddenly felt what I felt was not there. Have I fallen out of whatever you call it. The timing sucks too. It happen on the week of her birthday. Her birthday just passed and I didn't get or done anything yet. Originally had something special planned, but deemed too much and probably would freak her out anyway. So had to change plans and for once I didn't have a back-up plan. I have been trying to look for a present but just couldn't think of anything sincerely. Totally my bad.
This 'falling-out-of' or 'drifting-away' phase is something I really hate going through. As now I just want to be alone. Stay in the solitary confinement of the four walls of my room, either playing games or surfing.
Why do I feel as such. Maybe reality hit me. Maybe it wasn't going anywhere long term. Maybe it hit me that she didn't feel the same way. Maybe we live different lives that I just wouldn't fit in. Maybe she is more happy where she is in her life. Maybe it will work. Maybe it will not work.
So in the end I bet you all are saying 'just tell her'. I would, but in my life, some things are better left unsaid.

The one where Lana finds out the truth and other short stories

Hola! (I went for Pan's Labyrinth, which would explain the Spanish intro). I don't know why I picked the title above, maybe just the first thing that pops to mind (mainly due to the fact that I'm posting this blog after watching the latest episode of Smallville).
The latest episode is the wedding between Lex Luthor and Lana Lang. Never really understood all the double-L's in the Superman universe. I won't explain in detail about the episode, just the one fact that Lana finally sees for herself Clark's powers as well as the torment that Clark's goes through when Lana says those two words at the altar (yes i know Clark will end up with Lois in the future, but that's television).
Seeing the role Lana plays in Clark's life (well in Smallville anyway), I somehow relate it to a friend of mine. Allow me to define, Lana being the one he cares for the most and would do anything to protect her but no matter how hard he tries its just not meant to be and he can't accept the fact and move on.
That's where friends come in **cue theme song of friends**. I lost count the number of times I told him to move on. I also told him if its meant to be she will come, but don't put your life on hold for her. I too suggested ways to keep his mind off her. My suggestions include getting involved in sports. It really a good outlet of anger-hate-frust-torment. Trust me, it does work and does the soul good.
Right, enough of playing the Dr. Phil role (which I played out for another friend last night, but thats another story).
Played futsal on Saturday (17 March 2007) and almost produce a moment of sheer brilliance and magic. I juggle the ball over one defender and volley the ball towards goal. Unlucky for me it hit the upright. If it went in it would have probably made ESPN's Top-Ten-Plays-of-the-Day and if my recorded the moment I would have posted it on youTube and adidas.com for their Predator vs F50 campaign. That moment of brilliance was stuff that usually works in my mind and dreams.
Another lazy Sunday, spent most of the daylight hours sleeping or as Hafizah would call it **doosh**. Actually was suppose to be on stand-by to go to office for some system upgrade, but the initial stage took longer than expected and there was no need for me to come. Which would only mean that Monday will be a very long day (can I call in sick tomorrow?). Never understood why we had to pick a lousy-unfriendly-inefficient-time consuming system. Everyday I feel like whipping put my light saber and hack and slash the system server and any piece of hardware related to it. Hold that thought, maybe I will.
Met up with Hafizah for drinks around 3.30ish in Plaza Damas. Then she headed to her salsa class and I headed to Taman Tun to jog. Only manage two laps today as it was freaking hot. Like they say, its global warming.
Almost forgot, I cooked myself a meal for lunch since I was home alone. I found sausages, macaroni and instant soup in the kitchen. I added all that with butter, cheese and olive oil (???). Guess its safe to say that celebrity chefs have nothing to worry about. I should just stick to what I do best which is...damn, haven't got a clue.