Where did it all go wrong? When did the brutal fork in the road happen? I've been plagued with these questions everyday. Wasn't I destined for greatness? Wasn't the human race suppose to kneel before me?
I will be first to admit that I have failed everyone. I have failed my family. I have failed my parents. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have failed myself.
I'm going to be 33 in the middle of the year and I am nowhere near where I want to be. I can't even provide for my wife and kid.
I also will be first to admit that all this is my fault. It comes down to the financial mess I put myself in. I am way deep in debt. My salary is not enough to last the month. I can't even clear my credit card mess. Even if I do manage to clear a chunk of it, I end up using the available balance again. My cards are near to maxing out, I still have personal loans to service as well as my automobile financing. This does not include the bills I help my parents pay for the house. All this is now added with the fact that I now owe someone money.
All this because I lived beyond my means early in my career. I didn't properly manage my finances and didn't figure out how to budget my spending then. I thought I could manage because I believed I was going places. How wrong I was. Now my career has stalled.
So what does my financial mess have to do with my failings? Mainly, I have yet to own any property. I don't even have any savings to put as down payment, and now with my lousy credit standing, I doubt I'll be able to get any home-financing. I can't expect to stay in my parents house or in-laws house forever. Aidan will out-grow the confines of my bedroom one day. And what if Aidan were to have a sibling?
Now to add to that, even my dad pointed the fact I have yet to own a house. He finds it embarrassing that as a man and head of family I haven't even purchased a house. He also pointed out, that when my sisters got married, their husbands already or made in rows to buy a place. I tried, but due to my mess, I can't even think of getting one.
My dad suggested I buy my mum's place. As much as I want to, I can't even afford it. He wants me to buy it as he doesn't want the property to leave the family. And also, he is trying to help me out with a place.
Am I really underpaid and shortchanged here? I would like to think I am. People with my experience are already or if not getting a 5-figure salary, I am not even halfway close. I envy my friends who go places. Who travel to London almost every 3 months. Who go on overseas vacations to unwind every quarter. I envy those who can provide comfort for their families. But who am I to question 'rezeki orang' right?
So at the end of it all, it all comes down to me and make do with what I have.
I will be first to admit that I have failed everyone. I have failed my family. I have failed my parents. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have failed myself.
I'm going to be 33 in the middle of the year and I am nowhere near where I want to be. I can't even provide for my wife and kid.
I also will be first to admit that all this is my fault. It comes down to the financial mess I put myself in. I am way deep in debt. My salary is not enough to last the month. I can't even clear my credit card mess. Even if I do manage to clear a chunk of it, I end up using the available balance again. My cards are near to maxing out, I still have personal loans to service as well as my automobile financing. This does not include the bills I help my parents pay for the house. All this is now added with the fact that I now owe someone money.
All this because I lived beyond my means early in my career. I didn't properly manage my finances and didn't figure out how to budget my spending then. I thought I could manage because I believed I was going places. How wrong I was. Now my career has stalled.
So what does my financial mess have to do with my failings? Mainly, I have yet to own any property. I don't even have any savings to put as down payment, and now with my lousy credit standing, I doubt I'll be able to get any home-financing. I can't expect to stay in my parents house or in-laws house forever. Aidan will out-grow the confines of my bedroom one day. And what if Aidan were to have a sibling?
Now to add to that, even my dad pointed the fact I have yet to own a house. He finds it embarrassing that as a man and head of family I haven't even purchased a house. He also pointed out, that when my sisters got married, their husbands already or made in rows to buy a place. I tried, but due to my mess, I can't even think of getting one.
My dad suggested I buy my mum's place. As much as I want to, I can't even afford it. He wants me to buy it as he doesn't want the property to leave the family. And also, he is trying to help me out with a place.
Am I really underpaid and shortchanged here? I would like to think I am. People with my experience are already or if not getting a 5-figure salary, I am not even halfway close. I envy my friends who go places. Who travel to London almost every 3 months. Who go on overseas vacations to unwind every quarter. I envy those who can provide comfort for their families. But who am I to question 'rezeki orang' right?
So at the end of it all, it all comes down to me and make do with what I have.
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