The one with 300

Finally, I've reached another landmark post. My 300-th post. And I thought I would have reached 300 a long time ago.

The one with my failings

Where did it all go wrong? When did the brutal fork in the road happen? I've been plagued with these questions everyday. Wasn't I destined for greatness? Wasn't the human race suppose to kneel before me?
I will be first to admit that I have failed everyone. I have failed my family. I have failed my parents. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have failed myself.
I'm going to be 33 in the middle of the year and I am nowhere near where I want to be. I can't even provide for my wife and kid.
I also will be first to admit that all this is my fault. It comes down to the financial mess I put myself in. I am way deep in debt. My salary is not enough to last the month. I can't even clear my credit card mess. Even if I do manage to clear a chunk of it, I end up using the available balance again. My cards are near to maxing out, I still have personal loans to service as well as my automobile financing. This does not include the bills I help my parents pay for the house. All this is now added with the fact that I now owe someone money.
All this because I lived beyond my means early in my career. I didn't properly manage my finances and didn't figure out how to budget my spending then. I thought I could manage because I believed I was going places. How wrong I was. Now my career has stalled.
So what does my financial mess have to do with my failings? Mainly, I have yet to own any property. I don't even have any savings to put as down payment, and now with my lousy credit standing, I doubt I'll be able to get any home-financing. I can't expect to stay in my parents house or in-laws house forever. Aidan will out-grow the confines of my bedroom one day. And what if Aidan were to have a sibling?
Now to add to that, even my dad pointed the fact I have yet to own a house. He finds it embarrassing that as a man and head of family I haven't even purchased a house. He also pointed out, that when my sisters got married, their husbands already or made in rows to buy a place. I tried, but due to my mess, I can't even think of getting one.
My dad suggested I buy my mum's place. As much as I want to, I can't even afford it. He wants me to buy it as he doesn't want the property to leave the family. And also, he is trying to help me out with a place.
Am I really underpaid and shortchanged here? I would like to think I am. People with my experience are already or if not getting a 5-figure salary, I am not even halfway close. I envy my friends who go places. Who travel to London almost every 3 months. Who go on overseas vacations to unwind every quarter. I envy those who can provide comfort for their families. But who am I to question 'rezeki orang' right?
So at the end of it all, it all comes down to me and make do with what I have.

The one with the poor service

Here is something different from all the sports related posts I've posted in 2012. Its about service and somehow either due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time or just damn dumb luck, I always seem to be the victim.
Let's begin with what use to be my favourite joint, Subway. As most of you know, I enjoy going to Subway. I promote it almost everyday on twitter. Every time and the Mrs go out, we must make sure there is a Subway chain in it. So one day, during lunch, I decided to go Subway. I went to an outlet where I'm a regular customer. When I arrived, I could smell the freshly baked bread. I thought to myself, "yeah, freshly baked bread". As I was just to make my order, the lady told me they ran out of bread. I in turned enquired and pointed out, "what is all this then, isn't this bread?". She told me the bread is to be delivered to another outlet. I was outraged. I thought all outlets have their own baking machines. Why must another branch bake for another?. And I am just one customer, don't tell me you can't serve me. I then left and thanked them loudly for the inability to serve one of their regulars.
I then vowed on twitter and facebook, that Subway has lost one of their regular customers. I know I'm being harsh because it is only one outlet, but for me, it just happened at the wrong time. While crossing the road to the Subway, a car ran over my feet. It was a red light for motorists and they somehow did not see people walking and crossing the road. And so, since then I haven't dined at Subway. It wouldn't teach them a lesson anyways, because they only lost one customer out of the million customers they have. Losing me as a customer would not effect their business revenues in any way. The Mrs in turn is relieved that my first suggestion for food is Subway sandwiches.
Next is my regular futsal and basketball joints.
For futsal, we have been regulars at this futsal joint for the past 8 years. I join 3 sessions there on Tuesday, Friday (though optional and cameo only) and Saturday.
Last Saturday we were asked to start later, at 5:20pm instead of at 5:00pm. The management cited the previous group started late. I said I was having none of it. They started late, that is their problem. My team knows the game is at 5 and they are all ready by 5 to 5. This is called time management. I got into a row with the group, telling them that they should manage their time properly. I told them, if there is no session after yours, then by all means, extend your playing time. But my session has been block-booked since 2004. We have been playing here way before they came. If you told me 5 more minutes maybe I can understand, but 20 minutes - no *bleep*-ing way. Told them we all have plans after the game, some have dinners or family events to attend and in my case go back to bathe my son. Maybe 20 minutes to you is nothing, but for me its very precious. In the end, the owner of the joint came in and told them to continue playing on another court.
Last night it was our basketball's joint to make a mess of things. The group has been playing since 2008 with a block-booked slot for Wednesday nights at 9:00pm. Last night they told us to start at 9:30pm. The previous week they messed up our 2-hour slot by double booking the 8-9 hour. So last night I gave them a piece of my mind (despite the fact I'm not the organizer for this session). I totally lost it when the guy told us that extending sessions is normal, since some people start late. I gave him the same earful as I did on Saturday. We also stated that this session has been block-booked since 2008, and the group before us only started playing last month. That group booked from 7:30pm to 9:00pm, but only came to play at 8:35pm. Well whose fault is that? In the end, I think the guy couldn't take it and when his boss arrived he ran away. The boss then said he did not authorize for the group to extend. So I guess the guy was messing around with the bookings.
Yes people, I do get angry when people mess around with my time.

The one with the year that was 2011

Happy 2012 people. May the new year bring you health and happiness.
Planning to post a review of my 2011. No outline of how I'm going to write this, so I'll just write as I go along.
First the main highlight of the year. The birth of my son, Aidan Danial. He came to this world on 5th September 2011 at 6.06pm. He came in weighing in at 2.65kg and 47cm in length. He will be 4 months in a couple of days, and the last check-up before Christmas he weighed 6.1kg and grew to 60cm in length.
On the sporting front, this year was the first year I decided to keep track of my stats in futsal and basketball. Yes, after all these years of playing and I've only decided to keep track of my stats when I'm past my prime.
In futsal I played a total of 64 games (eat your heart out you overpaid-footballers-who-say-you-play-too-many-games). In those 64 games, I racked up 108 goals and 112 assists, averaging 1.7 goals and 1.8 assists a game.
I've participated in 2 futsal tournaments. The KHR-organized tournament was ill-fated but the EPL supporters club fared better for me.
In basketball I've made 32 appearances and averaged 7.1 points, 15.1 rebounds, 6.9 assists, 1.4 blocks and 2 steals a game.
While I didn't keep track of my tennis stats, I did feel this was the year I improved. I felt I stalled in 2010, but think I got it together in 2011. It might not be on Roger Federer's level, but enough for me to enjoy the game.
Career wise, this year was a lost and wasted year. Nuff said.
For my beloved Spurs, 2011 was a roller coaster with plenty of ups and downs. Among the highlights was reaching the Elite-8 of the Champions League and being 3rd in the league going into 2012. The low-points was missing out of the Champions League as well as too-many dropped points in games where we should be winning especially when our rivals have lost. My player of 2011 is Luka Modric, followed closely by Gareth Bale.
A lesson I learned in 2011 was finding out who my friends are. And this was a majority of friends from when I was working in the treasury line. It seems after I left the line, I was discarded and cast aside. Only one person from the line remained a true friend. The rest, just choose to forget me. It was obvious they only needed me for business relations and nothing else. Even during the days leading to the 'decision' a lot of them called me up, but then stopped calling after I didn't take my talents to the 13th floor.
2011 was a mixed year, with the birth of my son being the highlight. May 2012 be better than 2011.

The one with the dead-end

Again, a long hiatus from the blogging. Mostly due to juggling my new role as a father as well as FM2012.
Anyways, lately I've been having a rough time with my career. Its not going anywhere and I fell stuck. Worst of all, I feel that this was a wasted year in my career. I didn't progress anywhere and failed to get any recognition for my efforts. Due to that, these past couple of months I admit I've been slacking at work. And till today, I regret my decision in The Decision.
As much as I want to blame the system and management, I know enough to know it is all my doing. I failed to establish contacts and expand my network as well as maintain the network I already have. With that, I feel truly alone in this organization. Even looking for a way out, I don't have any friends who can recommend me for gigs.
Sadly, all this eats me up everyday. I immediately switch to a miserable-emo-disturb mode when I step into the office. I am glad that I can turn it off when I'm at home with my wife and son. Though I am not sure how long I can keep doing this. Already last night I had trouble turning if off and probably my son sensed it and cried and didn't want to play with me.
I've come to terms that this is all my fault, but I want to blame the organization for one thing. It isn't very baby-friendly in terms of medical and health care. My colleague told me I can claim my son's portion of the hospital bill, only to be rejected on grounds which was not explained to me. Also, the monthly vaccinations for my son is NOT entitled for reimbursement.
Career wise, I've really hit a dead-end. To make things worst, the new leadership in my department has no direction on where he is taking us. Also, he stated my job is too easy which is why he went back on his word to promote me and give me a raise after I decided to stay after The Decision. And yet, the revenue is coming from what I do.
I guess I've reached the stage where I need a fresh start. I had one during The Decision but I stupidly turned it down. Sadly my skill sets are limited and the field where my skills seem fit do not want me back.
At the end of the day, as much as I want people to tell me it will be okay in the end, the realist in me knows, it will never be, besides who do I have that will tell me it will be alright in the end?

The one where I'm still here

How do midgard-ians. Its been 4 months since my last post. A lot has happen, see if I can remember all there is.

After my last post, my wife went for fibroid removal surgery. Upon a post-surgery check-up in March, we found out she was pregnant and just went through her first tri-mester. And nobody knew. Now she is 5 months pregnant and so far it seems OK.

My sister got married last weekend, to a dude who now joins my basketball Wednesday sessions. Well, he is making his return tonight after a layoff before the wedding.

I (sadly) am still stuck in the same place at work. The rewards for last years efforts sucked. My plotting an exit scheme doesn't seem to be going well.

Okay, that's a brief update. Need to post more regularly.

The one with the year that was 2010

Happy New Year to all. Three days in, only now i plan to post my story in 2010.

Well the highlight of the year was of course, me getting married. I got married on 10 July 2010. It was a simple occasion with close relatives and friends. It did felt strange that the cameras were on me. The whole event itself was a whole lot of work but I believe the hardest is for the groom. He must show up and say the right name.

On a serious note, my relatives and close friends helped make the occasion memorable. They put a lot of work as well as sleepless nights trying to get the whole thing together.

My wife herself, is a very Lois Lane type. Which kind of fits my Clark Kent-ness. A strong determined woman with a tall bumbling nerd.

If I were to ever do a 'How I Met Your Mother' if i have kids, it will be ' there a two big days to my love story - the day I met your mother and the day I married her. (cue theme song HIMYM).

The year 2010 was also the year I played basketball again. I joined a weekly half-court session in the middle of the year. It was nice to just be on the court and play the game which I love. The game is still fun although I feel out of place at times as most of the group are regular ballers who play in social leagues. They are players who have solid fundamentals. Unlike me, who did not have any formal training, only relied on my talent, height and videos. I myself have been out of the game for so long, trying to get into rhythm took some time. Still, I always look forwards to Wednesday 9pm to just shoot hoops.

Also 2010, was a great year for my Spurs. And I still have trouble trying to pick out my favourite moment for 2010. Believe me, its been a while that Spurs fans have anything to celebrate. Definitely makes a change from all the red teams and a blue team making noise on the social networks. The champions league qualification does take centre-stage in our favourite Spurs moment, but I would also like to add the emergence of a young athlete who I knew would be great when he first joined. He was unlucky with injuries and trying to get consistent playing time, but once he started turning on the afterburners, there was no looking back. That young man's name, is Gareth Bale.

On a sad note, 2010 was the year which I have attended more funerals and burials than I have had my entire life. And probably it hit my dad the hardest. He lost one brother and 2 sisters in the space of 5 months. Siblings who took care of him when their parents passed when my dad was still a baby. Also a close friend of mine lost his father on the 2nd day of the Islamic calender. And I realize that I am a 'crier'. I cry with people who are crying at funerals.

Well that was 2010 for me. Here's to a better 2011.

The one with the jersey issue

Again Malaysia is the highlight in foreign media. As usual for the wrong reasons and comic relief.

Recently muftis from certain states have preached to stop wearing the Manchester United jersey. Also listed are other jerseys which bear the cross. National jerseys like Brazil, Portugal and Barcelona. I for one find this odd. Kindly note I am NOT a manyoo fan.

Reasons stated for the manyoo jersey is because of the devil on their badge. Seriously why now raise the issue? The emblem has been around since I don't know (ask a manyoo fan). And most of my friends as well as my wife are manyoo fans. Most have been fans their entire life. Yet, I do not notice any devil worshipping characteristics or behaviours. They still follow the Muslim beliefs. For me, its the niat. We are all educated enough to know right from wrong.

Again these are probably the same clerics who banned yoga. I believe there are other issues with regards to promoting and projecting Islam as a peaceful religion. And yet, they choose to focus on matters that do not membangunkan ummah.

On another note, wonder when they will ban supporting Spurs. Since they have Jewish roots and backed by Jews. Which is why Spurs always tend to have money even when most clubs don't. This is because they have strong financials and prudent spending strategies. Unlike a Muslim-owned team who spend money like there is no tomorrow in signing superstar players.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to niat.

The one with another long hiatus

Hello again. Yet another long hiatus. As usual a lot has happened in between. Well the main thing is now I have less than 1 month before I get married (cue panic mode).
The World Cup has started. And I have yet to watch a full match. Just highlights. And my fellow countrymen kick off their campaign on Wednesday morning. As of writing Slovenia just beat Algeria 1-0. Another low scoring game. Six games in and we have only seen 8 goals. So far I rate South Africa's Tshabalala's goal as the best so far, mainly because it was one superb goal, cool name for a footballer and a well choreographed goal celebration.
As for wedding preparations, I would like to believe all is going according to plan. Just received the cards and have to start sending them out soon.
As for TV series which I follow - Smallville, Glee, Clone Wars and House have all ended their latest seasons. Just waiting for Vincent Chase and the boys to return at the end of this month.
Short update for today.

The one with the post where I can't think of a suitable title

Welcome April 2010. Welcome the unfriendly me.
March 2010 was one of those months where everything went wrong. Too many to list down, which resulted me in being the unfriendly me. I set my playlist to emo and angst mode when I take the train in the morning. And as April begins, there signs of improvement look dim.
Workwise everything has gone downhill. Think I should update my resume and start sending them out again. The political play going on at my workplace is too much. I'm just one of those simple folk. I just do my job and I'm done. I don't care in your quest for power of over-throwing people. And I for one do not pledge my loyalty to anyone.
I think the work issues got to me after they sent me to some teambuilding exercise, which was a total waste of my wasted time. I surrounded by dinosaurs, people for have been with the company for donkey years. I don't mind that, but they just haven't changed with the times. Times have changed, its a bigger world now. Just let it go. Or just do what I do, leave the company. Why make yourself miserable being with people who you resent. Just let it go and move on (which is what I'm plotting at the moment).
The wedding preparations itself will start taking its toll on me. Now I remember why I didn't want to go through this process in the first place. Its to bloody expensive! No one understands the simple I mean when I want a simple reception. Yes I know, my friends all warn me about it being a parents gig and all I have to do is stay out of the way. All I wanted was a one day event (for both the nikah and reception) with just around 50 guests. Why invite the whole planet? And I'm not a fan of all this local traditions where everything is expensive.
The cost of these things are really getting to me. I am one of those people who probably enjoyed being single too much that I can buy anything I want. All the toys and gadgets. I must have more toys than NASA. Now I have to sacrifice and put aside all that. Not an easy adjustment, especially when Mark I has come to an end. Besides, why spend all the money on one party, when there is a lifetime to go.
With three months to, I doubt I can enjoy any weekends till then. Everyone seems to be concern with the event, but the main thing has yet been done. The registration process. I am more concern about that than the other arrangements. The HIV test, the endless amount of forms and such, the meeting of the jurunikah. And people say I'm not looking at the big picture. Point of note, for the state of Selangor, you can start registering 3 months before the event. Which is exactly by next weekend I have to start doing the necessary.
Another note, after making some progress getting lighter, I got heavier again, as all the stress has made me go for some comfort food.
I guess I'm feeling way down because of too many setbacks and too many things that I could rely on has failed me. Need to pick myself up.

The one where I'm still around

A short post saying I'm still around - larger, wider and uncut.

The one where Ramadhan begins

Hello again. Been some time since you've seen anything on this space. Anyways, with the fasting month just started, I do hope to blog more.
So today is the second day of the fasting month. Good thing this year it starts on a weekend. So I can just sleep in and play games.
Selamat berpuasa/berbuka/berterawikh/bersahur to fellow Muslims.

The one with the short updates

Hello all. Been MIA again. Been occupied with a number of things. So just a short update.
One, things with Elina is great. Its nice to finally be with someone who feels the same way, without the cruel intentions. Been together for one and a half months. A very happy one and a half months. We've done the 'meet the parents' session but not the 'meet the fockers' yet.
Two, the passing of a musical legend, Michael Jackson. I am not really a fan, but I do his music does inspire. He made videos matter. He reached out to the less fortunate. I've done two mini-MJ karaoke tributes so far. Sadly they don't have a lot of his hits. And its also safe to say, I can't do the moonwalk anymore.
Three, the new Spurs kit range suck. So ugly that I wouldn't want to buy it. Besides they changed kits for the past four seasons and it keeps getting worse.
Four, my tennis has shown glimpses of brilliance. I have the winning shot intact. But I need to improve my footwork and also my serve. Can't seem to get that right.
Guess that's all I can think of for now.

The one where I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

The title says it all. I'm happy again.

I'm grateful for my close friends who told me someone has always been in front of me and I just didn't know it. I thought it would be wierd and akward, but somehow it feels right. 

The song Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat is a nice theme song.

The one where I hate being injured

After last weekend's tournament, I had to endure a stinging pain on my left heel. I could not land my left heel and had to walk on one leg.

After a couple days rest, I can walk normally. But still I could not participate in any sporting activities.  And I hate it! 

For one who is so use to play futsal or tennis after work, suddenly I have no idea what to do with my time. 

I'm bored.

The one where I need a new hobby

Just got back from another great game of futsal. But before the game, had a chat with Shareza. We both agree that the numbers for the Tuesday session is way out of hand.
There are times where I feel I don't want to play as the numbers doesn't allow me to play my usual game. Lately for the Tuesday sessions I find myself sacrificing my offensive game and talents for a defensive role. Mainly to protect myself from malicious tackles since whoever gets the ball, will be surrounded have 3 or 4 defenders. Still I dictate the game by reinventing myself for the game.
Anyways, that wasn't really the idea for this post. As I mention, sometimes I don't feel like playing as the court is overcrowded. But I need to play, mainly because I have nothing else better to do after work. If not, I would be at home playing with my niece, online on facebook and gtalk or watch some dvds.
So Shareza suggested I pick up a new hobby. Something which will help fill the hours. Then I thought photography would be an interesting idea. It is something I do have an interest in. An idea and interest I should explore.
Well my brother-in-law suggested I join him in the toys scene. Collect action figures or build toys from model kits. Not sure if I have the patience to build one. It requires a high level of concentration and patience. Something I don't really have, which is why I don't play golf.
Anyways, any ideas?

The one with my Brazilian name

Got this link from Peep. So if I were ever to be called up by Dunga to represent Brazil, this would be my name on my jersey.

The one where I believe my future lies elsewhere

I know I've said it many times before. But I really should do something about it. I need an exit.
I have no motivation to work. I can't work with the team. I've turn into something so not promising anymore. I don't see a future there anymore.
So, any vacancies, let me know.

The one where I was happy even for a while

Still in the 'should I move on or keep trying phase'. Though it would be easy to move, since it's a familiar process for me. Maybe because this time around I was really 'lovestoned' and happy.
Well one memory in that short period of time still sticks. The night where I picked her up from the airport. Probably that week sticks out for me too.
She had to go to Kota Bahru some an event. She left on a Tuesday. Had dinner with her on Monday night. She was suppose to come back on Friday, but managed to get an earlier flight back on Thursday.
That period while she was away, I felt what it was like to miss someone (okay I know it was only 2 days). I felt what is was like when the one you cared about was not within the radius. I made full use of the communication tools available. I tried my best to keep her company while she was alone in her hotel room. I stayed awake with her until she wanted to sleep.
The night I picked her up at the airport, I just couldn't wait for work to end. I knew I had time (her ETA was 2100 hours), went to pick up some cupcakes for her.
While waiting in the arrival hall, the last scene from Wicker Park was in my head. Even though it didn't really have any relation, but the setting was similar. Don't know how many times my heart skipped beats waiting for her to come out.
When she finally came out, it must have been the happiest I felt in ages. We hugged and felt the warmth of each other's embrace. We both knew then how much we missed each other.
That period with her, was the happiest I've been in ages. At least I knew what it was like to be normal. Being able to feel love.
Okay, I'm kinda sleepy now. Till next time.

The one with the Gtalk status

Short post this. Someone on my gtalk friend list recently updated her status message. It reads "how to lose a girl in 10 days". Who wrote it, well bet you can guess. Still need a clue, the subject for my last 3 posts.
Not sure if it was intended for me, but sounds like it. And yes we still have each other on gtalk and facebook.