The one with plotting another exit

Finally I have a way out. Another chance for a new start. I will be taking my 'talents' to Jalan Ampang. Also it will be back to what I used to do.

Now that I will be heading back to my previous field, I need to brush up on the latest market developments. Also need to find my swagger back and get my revenge (the revenge part was just for dramatic effect).

The timing is just nice too. Our 'bonus day' is this coming Friday. After that, I will tender my resignation and serve my notice (1 month).

I now have a chance to get my career back on track. I can try to regain that 'lost year' in my career. 

I for one know the grass is never greener on the other side, but the move was solely for the money. Given all my financial woes, the increase is very much needed.

While most people will see this a pick-me-up, I refuse to believe that my life is changing. Because knowing me, there will be a sick punchline somewhere, the killing joke as one may say.

The one with the department mess

This post can also be called the one with the mass exodus. A sad unfortunate tale really, but at the end of the day, people have to look out for their livelihood and also their own happiness.
Lets go back to the start of 2011. The department had 18 permanent staff. And now come January 2012, we have 6 from that 18 still in the department while 3 are serving their resignation notice. Of the 6, 5 of them are from my Ops & Dealing team and the other is the Acting Global Head. The Ops & Dealing team is the only team intact, while the others have already disbanded. The Sales & Training, Commodities, Capital Markets, Compliance and Marketing teams in the department has been vacated. Surprisingly this shortage is only being addressed now.
Why the mass exodus? Well for one, some have followed our former Global Head to her new gig. Some have better opportunities elsewhere and one decided to take his talents to the middle east. But whatever the reasons are, the 10 who left after the former Global Head left, decided to look for an exit after the Acting Head failed to do his job properly as well as living in his own world. It may be easy to blame the Acting Head, but thats the main reason they left.
So why is my unit the only unit intact? For one, we have a boss who takes care of his staff. Which is the reason why we are still on board. But for how long? Morale in the department is at an all time low, despite we were all (deservingly) rated as OutStanding in the recent appraisal. We are asked to help fill in for the vacant slots. Some are not even within our current skill set. While this does give us the opportunity to learn, expand and widen our experience, but moving forward this is not a long term solution.
I've been given assurances my future is safe and my boss is proposing a promotion in order to keep me on board. With everyone gone, after the Acting Head and my boss, I'm the one with the experience left. Sadly, despite the shortage of manpower and also no signs of anyone coming in, we are still assigned the now impossible targets to achieve. The targets has risen, but with the same client base.
Now it is a clearer sign the my decision to stay was the wrong choice. For now, I will stay on board, wait for the bonus (if any) and increments (if any), before deciding my next move. But I foresee the department's future itself is bleak and I should seek a new job on the unemployment line.

The one with the year that was 2011

Happy 2012 people. May the new year bring you health and happiness.
Planning to post a review of my 2011. No outline of how I'm going to write this, so I'll just write as I go along.
First the main highlight of the year. The birth of my son, Aidan Danial. He came to this world on 5th September 2011 at 6.06pm. He came in weighing in at 2.65kg and 47cm in length. He will be 4 months in a couple of days, and the last check-up before Christmas he weighed 6.1kg and grew to 60cm in length.
On the sporting front, this year was the first year I decided to keep track of my stats in futsal and basketball. Yes, after all these years of playing and I've only decided to keep track of my stats when I'm past my prime.
In futsal I played a total of 64 games (eat your heart out you overpaid-footballers-who-say-you-play-too-many-games). In those 64 games, I racked up 108 goals and 112 assists, averaging 1.7 goals and 1.8 assists a game.
I've participated in 2 futsal tournaments. The KHR-organized tournament was ill-fated but the EPL supporters club fared better for me.
In basketball I've made 32 appearances and averaged 7.1 points, 15.1 rebounds, 6.9 assists, 1.4 blocks and 2 steals a game.
While I didn't keep track of my tennis stats, I did feel this was the year I improved. I felt I stalled in 2010, but think I got it together in 2011. It might not be on Roger Federer's level, but enough for me to enjoy the game.
Career wise, this year was a lost and wasted year. Nuff said.
For my beloved Spurs, 2011 was a roller coaster with plenty of ups and downs. Among the highlights was reaching the Elite-8 of the Champions League and being 3rd in the league going into 2012. The low-points was missing out of the Champions League as well as too-many dropped points in games where we should be winning especially when our rivals have lost. My player of 2011 is Luka Modric, followed closely by Gareth Bale.
A lesson I learned in 2011 was finding out who my friends are. And this was a majority of friends from when I was working in the treasury line. It seems after I left the line, I was discarded and cast aside. Only one person from the line remained a true friend. The rest, just choose to forget me. It was obvious they only needed me for business relations and nothing else. Even during the days leading to the 'decision' a lot of them called me up, but then stopped calling after I didn't take my talents to the 13th floor.
2011 was a mixed year, with the birth of my son being the highlight. May 2012 be better than 2011.

The one with The Decision

I started my working career in 2002. Since then, it has lead me to 4 corporations. The experiences, lessons and friendships forged were valuable. But in those years, I always and I mean always seem to make the wrong choice in career development. And recently I made another error in judgement.

A couple of weeks back, there was opening within the organization. This opening suited my talents and qualifications. Also it was an opportunity to return back to what I did before - dealing. I applied for the position, and discussion with the team there, they hinted that the post was already mine. As I had the background and also the license for the industry. One of two people in the building (the other is our CEO) with the dealing license.

Still I had to go through the formalities, as the job ad was opened to the whole organization. I'm not sure how many applied, but I still had to sit through the interview process. But what I found insulting was that I was asked to sit for the online-assessment test. I'm already in the employ of the organization, why should I sit for the exam. It is as if I applied as an outsider. Anyways, I half-heartedly did the exam, didn't bother reading the questions properly, just randomly answer.

Among the terms I stated was I wanted a raise from the current wages being paid to me as well as a promotion. This being the guy that is leaving is a senior post that what I am currently. Also, I figured that with my qualifications and background, it was merited and it was they who needed me.

In the end, what was offered was a lateral move. A move which I turned down. As the reason they gave was based on a wrong-fully judged performance last year. My big boss downgraded me to a 'below-average' performer when my boss gave me 'above-average'. My big boss stated that she has the final word and no discussions. Which is probably why I wasn't handsomely rewarded for doing the voodoo that I did so well on such unrealistic targets.

With that in mind, I knew that my future bosses will have my performance at the back of their head when judging me.

Seriously I wasn't thinking when I made the decision. I totally forgot the pros and cons list I made in my head when I applied for the post. I was only looking at the money on the table. Because I was thinking how am I to raise a family with my current salary and debts. I want to give my son everything I never had, but now I fear I can't. Yes, it is true that I am fueled by greed.

As to why I wanted to leave my current post. Simple, I can't work with the new acting head. He calls for unnecessary and pointless meetings every 10 minutes and at odd hours (ie after office hours on a Friday). At the rate he calls for meetings which doesn't have to do with me, I can't get anything done in the office. His reason, you can do your work after office hours when the sun is down. Well, I'm guessing your wife and kids don't give a rats ass about you. My boss even though he reaches home late, he still makes time to teach his son maths. Also the new acting head's style is not going well with the rest of the department. Everyone is seeking an exit. And I had the easiest way out, only to stupidly turn it down.

As to why I stayed. I don't really know why. Maybe it was because I work well with my boss. Even during our telephone interview before the face-to-face interview, he already knew that I was one who can work with him. Maybe it was because this year I am exceeding the target set by the management by a country mile.

So instead of taking my talents to the 13th floor, I stayed put in the 9th floor. The job search continues as that is probably the only way for a pay rise.

This week was the first work week post decision. And everyday it tells me that I made a wrong choice to stay. If only I left, it would have started the mass exodus. A vote of no confidence in the acting head's style. I could have hammered the point.

As much as I regret the decision, life goes on. The problems and issues I had yesterday still need to be dealt with even though it will never end.

The one with another emo-sith rant

I work on Sundays. I work on public holidays. I cover day plus night shifts. Even when I'm leave work comes a calling. Even when I'm at a weekend getaway with my wife, work calls. And I'm not even fairly compensated.

I don't even have time to spend with my wife or even get proper rest. Any break I get to recharge is a joke as someone from the office will call. 24 days into 2011, and I'm already going through my annual mid-year burnout.

I'm stuck in a place where work owns you. So my next move? To plot another exit.

The one with my first month at my new gig

I've made it through my first month at my new gig. Honestly no such thing as grass being greener on the other side. Mainly due to the fact there isn't much grass around. But I'll take what I can get for now.
My new department is small and newly established. My job function itself is new. The system has been running since August. I'm in charge of operations and dealing. I'll spare the details.
Work-wise, I can do what is required. The dealing as well as maintaining the system. But the admin and paperwork and meetings are not my thing.
One of the things I like about the place is the in-house (or is it in-office) gym. Figure I try going during my lunch break. I know there isn't much you can do in an hour. Then again, its the quality of your work-out.
Another thing is they are quite active in sports. Our gym houses indoor courts. We have 2 squash courts. And the main hall serves as a multi-purpose hall. It houses futsal, badminton, netball and maybe volleyball. On Fridays we play football at the St John's field nearby. Where now I've banged in 4 goals in 3 appearances.
And tomorrow is Monday.

The one with the new gig

Well, I do have loads to update here. But sadly another short post.
So I've finally left my previous bank. A relief to be free of the politics as well as the issues at the office. Will be sad to leave my close friends there.
Will be starting my new gig tomorrow. I know the grass is no longer greener on either side. But getting out was the main thing. Wonder how long it will take for me to make a mess at my new gig.
Lastly, Football Manager 2010 is out. So you know how that goes.

The one where I could be on the move again

Finally something popped up for me in the job market. Hopefully I can make an exit, not sure if it will lead to a mass exodus like the last time.
For one, I was recommended by a former boss and with other good words put in for me by others. The good words do help, but I feel that expectations are high as I come highly recommended.
Guess we will see how the next few days pan out.

The one where I believe my future lies elsewhere

I know I've said it many times before. But I really should do something about it. I need an exit.
I have no motivation to work. I can't work with the team. I've turn into something so not promising anymore. I don't see a future there anymore.
So, any vacancies, let me know.

The one where I need a new beginning

I guess fasting month has really been a quiet month. Not much activity. Except there were two karaoke posts which I should have posted. And also pending one session next week, hopefully.
Work as of late, no signs of improvement. Improvement here refers to the environment. It really took a lot of colour away from me. No longer the smiling one. No more witty one-liners. Even if there was, no one seems to get it. And I have been warned by the person who I replaced at that unit to be careful. Everyone there is capable of backstabbing. As you know the only way for me to overcome this is by taking to heart the line "keep your friends close and your enemies dead".
Anyways, I've decided my future lies away from where I am. Besides the 'work sucks', another reason to leave is due to frustration. I've seen friends who started the same time as me has made it to the big leagues. Market-wide recognition and stardom. You can say I'm jealous of my friends achievements. And yet, not given the opportunity to get there. This is where office politics come into play.
Anyways, as I once told a friend which I now have to remind myself. What does not kill you makes you stronger.
So if any of you know any alternative opportunities for me to venture in, please let me know.

The one where I'm really slacking at work

I have no idea how to begin this post. No introduction I can think off.
Straight to the point. I've been really slacking at work. In futsal I know when I'm having an off-game. Same thing at work. I haven't been doing a good job lately. Heck, I'm ridiculusly bored. There are things I should be doing, but I don't. I don't even have a sense of urgency. I'm still very laid-back.
I know I can do better. Question is, "do I want to?". I'm not happy with work anymore. Work related issues have been well documented. So I don't want to ellaborate further.
Time to hunt for a fresh start I guess. And after the horrific karaoke video, I guess being a rockstar is out of the question.

The one where I felt out of my league

Can't believe that's my title today. And amazingly it has nothing to do with girls.
So before my official move, I spend my afternoon trying to learn the trade at my new desk. Theoretically I think I can pull it off. But practically I have no bloody idea what I'm doing. Really felt out of my league there. Anyways, all this I will have to learn and pick up as I go along. Its like I said in the earlier post, I'm a rookie again.
As for fitting in, I think I will just have to adapt. Here I know my witty one-liners and jokes would not be appreciated. Would probably fall on deaf ears. As my current colleagues pointed out earlier, this will be the last days you get to tell your jokes to people who actually listen. Yes, its a totally different group of people. Just hope I won't go nuts to bonkers, but I guess weekly karaoke sessions are in order to de-stress.
One thing I learn about my new team, I can't trust anyone. Currently market is not really moving, so they are nice and teaching me what I need to know. But once market moves, it will be a mad gold rush just to reach profit targets. So I need to let loose a ruthless killer instinct which I know is in me, somewhere. But as a friend once said, "keep your friends close, but your enemies dead".
I think soon I really have to keep my head up with a whole lot of positive motivations.

The one with the Monday

Another Monday, another excuse to be the tabby fat cat.
Anyways, a continuation from my last post, I've decided to take the offer to move to another desk. I tried to look at the positives. Try to make the best of it. It would be a definite boost in my career. in terms of value. I would learn something new. I'm playing a whole different ball game now. Suddenly I feel like a rookie trying to make a name for myself. I know I will struggle in the beginning, but I've been through it before. I think I turned out alright. If not, well maybe I can test if man can truly fly.
And tomorrow is another day.

The one with what next?

Thank Go its Flyday. Another crazy week has gone by.Glad to see the end of it. Even though its just for a couple of days before it starts again.
First of all, just want to mention, I've watched the Dark Knight three times already.
So back to the topic at hand. Went for a mini-informal-interview a couple of days ago. Same job, same market except it's a new place and have to build up from scratch. Meaning establishing lines, networks and client base. A former colleague also went for the same interview earlier and we both agreed that we need each other on this. Because there is no way we can pull this off on our own. So far nothing has develop since.
Yesterday, I was offered an opportunity to move to another desk. It wasn't where I originally wanted to go. Had a discussion with my current boss about this. He said it would be a good move for me. To learn something new. To be rid of the external issues that hunt me at where I am now. I agree it will be a good change for me. And provide me with a new challenge.
So why am I not jumping for joy? They are not forcing me to move, but technically I am FORCED to move. Its one of those things. By moving, I know I have to give up what ever means I have of a social life. I might not be actively involved in futsal and gym. The hours will take me away from MY time. I for one don't work like them. I am not about work-first and work-last. There is more to life than work. I want to enjoy playing and hanging with my friends. Unlike them I have friends outside the office walls.
As I know I have no choice (unless the other offer comes along) I know I will regret moving. I probably shot myself in the foot then.
And next Monday will be one Monday I dread most.

The one with something pointless but lame attempt to take up space

Another day and things still haven't been on the up.
Actually the morning was good, woke up earlier to buy Dark Knight tickets online. So now I'm looking forward to Friday. I was more of myself, with those witty one-liners. Felt a positive change in me.
However it all turned around after lunch. And these is one of those days where you just want to tell people "do I look like I give a damn". Also weather I'll be charge for homicide. It is also a good time to see if man can really fly (I work on the 23rd floor).
I myself had good exercise today. Lifts were messed up after lunch. In the end took the stairs to the 23rd floor.
In this time of madness and unpredictability, I'm glad I have one colleague who can back me up work wise. She understands what is required of our main tasks. Its not easy when everyone thinks there is an 'I' in teamwork. At least with two players running the ship, we get things done. If not, killing someone would be too easy.
Once I had a colleague from my Affin Discount days, where we just clicked. We knew what we had to do, we always had each others back. Now we are in different organizations (she's my client now), and we both miss the days where our job was fun.
Nowadays I wouldn't mind getting hit by a bus to get out of work.

The one where I feel I do way too much at work

A lousy day at work post. Actually there's been a lot of these, but think I should let you be the judge. Don't get me wrong. I am grateful for the opportunity to earn a living. But lately, I feel I do way too much. May I add, waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy tooooooooooooo much.
Okay, maybe its due to the fact that we are very shorthanded. One is on honeymoon, one on a week's MC, one extending his mandatory leave and another is the bank's superstar for tennis. Due to the absence of these colleagues, the ones left behind have to deal with the daily positions. We still get it done (somehow).
But then, due to one fellow on leave, system testing is now my gig. And I don't understand the test scripts left behind for me from my colleague. Today, the second cycle of phase two kicked off, and it took me a while to get started. Add that to a stupid progress report which is no longer relevant, but since finance department what to act busy, I have to get that done. Both of the above due tomorrow. Add that to the fact that (somehow) I'm in charge of the stupid loans rollovers which does not impact our daily positions. But reasons for the credit department to waste paper and destroy the environment. Also the fact that I'm the fall guy for everything that goes wrong by the operations. The way they call me out is via e-mail (at least save paper) and cc-ing it to all my bosses. And somehow clients look for me. Clients who have weird and funny instructions and with long maturity listings. Seriously, why me?
I'm grateful that in the time of shorthanded-ness I at least have one colleague who can act in the same wavelength. Unlike one, who complains and whines and complains and whines and kiss-ass. He picks his spots, picks his clients, picks his work for the day. Even when I ask him to help out, he complains and whines.
By the way, I've fallen sick.

The one with no cool title I can think off (again)

As you can see I can't think a title that relates to what I'm posting. Well mainly its about futsal earlier tonight and some random life ramblings.
Well futsal Tuesday was great fun. I was in the groove and everything flowed swimmingly. My game tonight was full of well choreographed goals and brilliant playmaking. Been some time since I had a game where things just fell into place. Lost count of the number of goals I've scored and also assists made. But it was nice to get in the groove again.
Earlier at work I went through my appraisal. But it was more a kopi-ais and teh-o with my boss at the building's cafe. We kept it short and simple and very casual. We also discussed about a lot of things among them was that he thinks I should try my luck in foreign shores in either Singapore or Dubai. As he doesn't see much growth and also the fact that I'm not really tied down to anyone. Honestly if the opportunity arises I will go as it would be great if I could get a fresh start where no one knows my name (and also my past). I also told my boss that I want to try my hand in other products. However current market situation, the products are there but not the volume and yields. And he did mention I can get lonely if I move to certain desks. My current desk is probably the most fun desk in the department. And also I love the hours, allows me to have time to hang with my friends.
Alrighty then, I'm really running out of ideas. Good night and good luck.

The one where I'm EMP drained

Well, its been 5 days of fast. Went through the first weekend by either playing Madden (managed a Superbowl three-peat) or messing around with Facebook (hooked on it as of late) or catching up on my beauty sleep. How very productive of me.
Anyways, bet you all wondering what I mean by EMP is. In this case its NOT ElectroMagnetic Pulse. Currently its how I feel nowadays. Emotionally, Mentally and Physically drained. I really believe I am in need of a break, probably somewhere with sun, sand, sea and surf. And how am I EMP drained (and its not because of the fasting month).
Well emotionally I keep it short, just drained and unable to feel for someone.
Mentally due to work, as a lot is going on, and somehow people are gunning. Even had a client who threaten to call the Tan Sri and complain. Well he can go ahead for all I care, I know what I was doing. If he who comes from some fancy big Malaysian organization who rejects my friends proposal and thinks they are the boss and claims to know everything wants to whine about it go ahead. If you claim to be where you are you should at least know how I do things. Found out about the unhappy client through my colleague when his wife told my colleague. Damn, had to tell your wife to do that and get her to complain to my colleague. Whiner.
Physically due to all the mental and emotional stress beginning to take its toll on me. Body getting weak, and getting sick easily (but I believe its due to the air-conditioning at my building). Maybe its also due to futsal burn-out. Just not having much fun as of late. Just moments of creative genius but only in one play spurts. Well, taking a futsal break during fast, but we still play at nights, after terawih. First game for fasting month this Friday, so I had a weeks rest to find my feel for the game. Also tired from work, as there are times I feel I'm going nowhere in my career. Just hanging around to pay the bills and live the flamboyant lifestyle when I can.
Alrighty then, back to Facebook and then try to get some sleep.

The one with another Monday story

Another Monday has come and will soon go (in roughly about 3 hours). Sometimes I wonder how I manage to pull through. Then again how do I do it on a daily basis. Work as of late has not been kind. Yes I know I have been complaining about work a lot. Honestly I have no idea how long I'll be able to keep this Gandhi like patience and zen-like-calm before I finally crack or lose it (and I have been thisclose on a number of occasions).
Maybe instead of blaming everything around me, I figured I look into myself. More of a self-evaluation post on my first 3 months at my new gig. Maybe the reason I'm going through all this is I haven't been able to elevate myself to another level. Maybe my performance has not really been up to the expectations of the people around me. Not to say I've been slacking at work. I do get the job done. Well the main things that I'm expected to do. Things that I know I'm good at.
However when it comes to the extras, that's where it all kicks in. Things where I have to rely on my colleagues cooperation. And somehow getting them to cooperate is like asking them to move heaven and earth. The end product depends on what they give me, which has not made me look good as the new kid. I don't really want to get in their face because they are all more experienced than me and I don't want to show up, especially when I'm not in my element. If this was a basketball court I'll send them to school. Well that's another story.
I don't think I've adapted to the extra burden of responsibilities. It was handed over to me all of a sudden when one colleague shifted to another desk. And everything just passed over to me. Its all pretty much to take in and I have been forced to grow up too fast. Kinda like being shoved into the deep end.
But I know I am a whole lot better than this. All I need to do is refocus.

The one with another crappy Monday

Another Monday thrashing post. But this one has been building up so can't really blame the day. Just a coincidence. Then again everything that can go wrong will go wrong on a Monday.
Well today's events is not entirely work related but more in the lines of 'what the hell am I doing with my life'. You can say its purely based on emotion. I've reached the stage where I look back and reflect on what I've done. Have I really achieved anything?
Sometimes I wish I have the guts to drop everything and do something I'm more passionate about. Even better go to a place where no one knows my name. I want to get involved with sports. Since I'm already at or past the peak of my powers I guess pro sports is about 10 years too late. Maybe I can get into coaching. Train the generation of footballers or ballers on how to play to entertain.
I realize what I'm doing now isn't me. I myself don't really know where I'm headed. Guess the only reason I'm sticking around is money and the hours are pretty good.
I know I'm not doing a really good job of explaining here, but then again I am a closed book at times. Especially when it comes to issues within. Maybe in future I try to elaborate more.
Don't know if what I've said makes any sense. Guess its just one of those days.