The one with the net reconnected

Finally I have access to the net. After being 'logged out' for the past 2 nights, its good to be back online. As for my previous post, well it was by request of an office colleague. And I watched Step Up 2 for the second time last night. Can't wait for the DVD.
So what’s new, or more like what’s the story. Well times haven't really been good as of late. Not sure whether if its due to fatigue or just bored stiff or in the words of philosopher Cobain 'life sucks.......'.
Well work for one is one thing. Not sure if you can call it reaching the crossroads but I'm at the point where I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm partially bored with what I'm doing. The only good thing is my hours which allows me to have a whole lot of free time. Maybe I want to try other products and get my name back in the market. I even thought of quitting and try to do something more fulfilling.
I had a chat with one of my strike-force futsal partner about this. For him, climbing the corporate ladder would require some backstabbing and making full use of your connections. But once you put your hand in the cookie jar, you can't get out. In my line of work, the payback is very lucrative, well back in 70s and 80s anyways. Now with the Central Bank's regulation, its not as easy as it use too. I want to do something which I'm more passionate about and really be in my element. Sadly, there isn't a market for that line of work.
Another discussion with an office colleague who partially has the same issues as me. However for him its different. He has to think about his family before making his move. How to provide the basic necessities for his wife and kids. As for me, sink or swim I'm on my own.
Futsal wise for me as late has not been good. Haven't really been my creative-inspirational-genius-self. But that’s something I can overcome in time. Just need the 'me-against-the-world' mentality to get my edge back.
Another note is my relationship with women. I don't know why as of late, when I go out with a girl, the chemistry isn't there. Not that there should be instant chemistry (which would be great and save me the trouble). Its like 'we just don't click'. There isn't really anything in common to talk about or the wavelength is totally off. I know opposites are good, even my ex-girlfriend was an opposite of me but we found some common ground somewhere. Its not like I'm asking for a girl who is a Spurs fan. Just someone I can click with.
Sometimes I feel like I'm to careful and play my cards close to my chest. Too scared to get hurt again. To scared to be betrayed/cheated/lied too again. Some say that I don't express my emotions anymore and I’m too wooden. Some say I'm too choosy, but is being careful choosy? Some even said because I treat the whole thing as a game.
Thinks that one long post today. Must be due to the 'logged out' factor.