The one with the year that was 2012

Its time for the annual ‘the year that was’ post. 2012 was another eventful year despite the world ending was looming large. Since I haven’t been actively blogging, trying to recap the year isn’t that easy, but I’ll stick to the highlights I remember.

My son now as of writing is 15 months old. Aidan year one was awesome. Watching him grow and develop has been a joy. Now that he has legs, he just can’t stop moving and playing. He has grown so much and I’ve been fortunate enough to be around during his growth. He can be very cheeky and mischievous while being cute and cuddly at the same time. My wife says i spoil him too much and i let him get away with everything that I’m easily fooled by his cuteness.

Sports-wise I believe I’m no longer the player I used to be. I even don’t have the same fire and passion to play every game I can. I guess this year has probably been the year with the least sporting appearances for me. Overall in 53 futsal games, I average 2-goals and an assist per game. Basketball wise, I averaged 10-17-5-1-2 in 47 games. Didn’t get much of tennis action this year. Mainly due to the inability to get a court date and the weather hasn’t been tennis friendly. I tailed off towards the end of the year, as my will-to-play is no longer there. I now need to feed off the energy and will-to-play from others. Hopefully I can rejuvenate myself for 2013.

In May I finally made a career move. I left the Bursa Malaysia gig for a gig at Bank Simpanan Nasional. Also, I’ve rejoined the treasury line and now I’m doing what I was doing when I started my career. So far the move has been good, but I still feel unsettled.  Not plotting any exits as of yet, but will keep my options open.

So 2012 has been an eventful year on its own. Here’s hoping for a better 2013.

The one where its been a while

Hello all. How do? Happy fasting to the Muslim community.

Guess its been a while since I wrote something here. Surprised I still remember my password.

So whats new? Well, now I'm coming into 3 months at my new gig. So far so good, doing what I used to do when I started my career.

Aidan is growing right before my eyes. Its a joy to see him grow and watch him reach new milestones everyday. He will be 11 months next Sunday. And when I look back at his photos, he has grown so much.

Earlier this month, me and the Mrs celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.

Also, just bought the new Spurs jerseys for next season. Yup, I bought both home and away jerseys, and boy do they look sexy.

 aidan at 10 months

 celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary

the new spurs jerseys for the upcoming season

The one with The Avengers

The first of the summer-comic-book-movies has been screened - The Avengers. A fan-boys dream come true. And I must say it was surprisingly fun.

I was a bit sceptical about the movie. I was worried about chemistry, screen time, character development and the flow of the story. However I was glad I was wrong.

Each character was given a fair amount of screen time and presence in the film. Though I believe Loki had more screen time than most and Tony Stark had the best lines especially with his verbal sparring with Steve Rogers.With Steve playing the patriotic soldier and Tony being himself, the clash of ideas really had an impact on the team. And their on-screen chemistry was beautiful.

Mark Ruffalo's portrayal of Bruce Banner surprised me. I for one really enjoyed Ed Norton's portrayal of Bruce, as he embodied the inner struggle he endured brilliantly. Mark played a Bruce who seem more in control of 'the other guy'.

My favourite character Thor was probably the most awesome of them all (yes, I'm biased). His early battle against both Captain America and Iron Man was one of my favourite scenes. Thor himself enjoyed watching both Steve and Tony go at each other. Also the Thor against Hulk fight was awesome. (Wonder if we would have a Hulk vs Wolverine soon?)

The other characters Natasha and Clint had their share of screen time too. The were normal humans who didn't have powers like their teammates. Nick Fury, Phil Coulson and Maria Hill had their screen time.

Come to think of it, Joss Whedon really did a good job developing the characters. Unlike the X-men trilogy where Wolverine was the main focus of the story.

The movie is about the different personalities of each team member and how they all came together to fight the common enemy.

My overall review for Avengers would be awesome and fun. Just enjoy the ride.

The one with another disastrous futsal tournament

Last Saturday 14th April 2012 was the 2nd edition of the EPL supporters club futsal tournament. It was bigger then the last tournament with a total of 12 teams. Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United and Newcastle all sent 2 teams while Manchester City and Spurs sent 1 team.

Prior to the tournament we didn't really prepare well. All attempts for centralized training was met with lukewarm response and injuries. With that, I came into the tournament with zero expectations. And how wrong I was. I didnt know we were suppose to win the whole shindig. The best part was the players who never turn up for training are the ones demanding a win. 

First I'll get to the results. We drew our first game against Chelsea B 0-0 and I didn't see any playing time in that one. Next we lost to Man Utd A 2-3. I came in after half-time and we were already 2-down at that point. I came in and help stabilize the defence (sometimes you just need big guys at the back). I also got yellow-carded in that game. I was carded because I ran over a very small Man Utd player which I didn't see when going for a high ball. Funny call but it was against Man Utd. Craig pulled us level with 2 quick goals. Then disaster happened. I under hit a pass forward which was intercepted by a Man Utd player and I was caught out with a quick 1-2 counter. I was blamed for that goal which I owned up too. But the rest didn't accepted it. They claim that I should have been subbed because I was 'tired'. Well that was suppose to be their call on who comes in and out. My number wasn't called so I carried on. With that I knew I was going to be benched for the rest of the tournament. I missed our next 2 games, a 2-1 win over Arsenal A with goals from Leonard and Conrad and a 1-3 loss to Liverpool A with Conrad scoring our lone goal. We were already eliminated from the semis before our last game against Newcastle B. I was asked to start because there was nothing to play for. Due to be out cold, I wasn't ready for the game and made 2 early errors which lead to their goals in the first 3 minutes or so. Everyone was making me the scapegoat and then I had it. I walked out on the team, asked someone else to replace me. We lost 1-3 with Shahrul getting our goal. I didn't say goodbye to the team and walked back home straight after the game. The tournament was just across the road from my in-laws place so I decided to just walk to the tournament venue.

So i just played less then 8 minutes in the tournament from a total of 50 minutes playing time. Only played in 2 games while I was benched for the other 3. I didn't appreciate being made the scapegoat for the losses in which I played a part in. We didn't even prepare as a team. What do you expect? You think we can win by just showing up? Even Barcelona don't win without any preparation. With that I officially quit the team (like I was needed anyway). I will not make myself available for any future Spurs Malaysia futsal teams. 

A frustrating tournament and also a wasted weekend.

The one with the evening with Gary Mabbutt

On Tuesday, 27th March 2012, was a memorable occasion for the Spurs Malaysia fans. We had the opportunity to sit down, chat and dine with our legendary captain during the late 80s to 90s, Gary Mabbutt. The event was held at Seri Pacific here in Kuala Lumpur.

When he arrived, he was greeted with rapturous applause from all of us. It was my first experience seeing a Spurs legend up close. I had goosebumps and didn't know what to do with my hands but clap.

He shared his experiences and stories from his playing days as well as his opinions on the current Spurs squad.

When asked about the current squad, his believes it can go places, and he also says that if Harry Redknapp wants the England job, then the team should let him pursue his dream. As for who could replace him, he had 3 names - Carlo Ancelotti, Jurgen Klinsmann and Guss Hiddink. He felt British names like David Moyes and Brendan Rodgers could be within a shout for the Spurs managerial post should Harry leave.

Gary also shared the work footballers do during the off-season. While a majority of players will make the headlines for the wrong reasons, footballers actually do a lot of community work. He talked about the charities and community work done by the club in Africa.

Gary also shared about his playing experiences. Who were his toughest opponents and such. He always wanted to play fair. He wasn't the "out-to-break-your-legs" type of defender. He always won the ball fairly. And how the current Spurs team could use a defender like him now to stabilize the squad. He was also the last captain to lift the FA Cup back in 1991. It was one of his proudest moments in his career.

There were topics we avoided asking, but Gary talked about it anyway. He talked about his own-goal in the 1987 FA Cup final. And how he became on of Coventry's influential people in their history as well as getting meals for free there for life. The other topic was Paul Gascoigne. His life story is well documented and Gary said its good to see Paul try to get his life back together.

The evening ended with an autograph session. And I didn't bring anything for him to sign. So I only got his autograph on the invitation card. I admit I was star-struck the whole evening and even when we chatted during the autograph signing, I was at lost for words. It's not everyday a Spurs legend comes to town.

The one with plotting another exit

Finally I have a way out. Another chance for a new start. I will be taking my 'talents' to Jalan Ampang. Also it will be back to what I used to do.

Now that I will be heading back to my previous field, I need to brush up on the latest market developments. Also need to find my swagger back and get my revenge (the revenge part was just for dramatic effect).

The timing is just nice too. Our 'bonus day' is this coming Friday. After that, I will tender my resignation and serve my notice (1 month).

I now have a chance to get my career back on track. I can try to regain that 'lost year' in my career. 

I for one know the grass is never greener on the other side, but the move was solely for the money. Given all my financial woes, the increase is very much needed.

While most people will see this a pick-me-up, I refuse to believe that my life is changing. Because knowing me, there will be a sick punchline somewhere, the killing joke as one may say.

The one with the exile from sports

My "exile from sports" still continues. Though no one really noticed or missed me except one teammate.

With all the work issues and personal problems I have, playing was the one thing that helped me forget about it all, even for a while. Doing what I do on the courts, will help de-stress and keep my sanity in check. It was the one thing I know where I can be awesome and help me feel good about myself.

But lately, I guess everything is taking its toll on me. I no longer have the same swagger and mojo to play. I'm not even confident in my own game. With this loss of confidence, I have bad and lousy games, which I can't take. Playing was the one thing that can help me be awesome, but if I keep having bad games, what am I?

With all this said, I find myself no longer having fun playing. Which is really the point of playing - having fun. But now that I'm no longer having fun, I guess I should just walk away or stay away.

The Mrs says I'm in my head too much. I think too much. But that's what I am. I have 'high' standards to my play. I want to entertain, I want to keep the game sexy. But now I can't seem to do anything right.

How long will I be out? I have no idea. I need to find that spark that ignites my interest in playing again.

The one with 300

Finally, I've reached another landmark post. My 300-th post. And I thought I would have reached 300 a long time ago.

The one where Aidan turns 6-months young

Today, my son Aidan Danial turns 6 months. It has been an absolute joy watching him grow and develop.

I remember when I first laid eyes on him, he was so small and tiny. Today he has grown a lot. From the 2.65 kg when he was born to the 7.8 kg now. From the 41 cm in length to the 65 cm tall baby now.

So at 6 months, its plain to see that Aidan has his mother's eyes and smile. And that cheeky grin from me.

Aidan at 6 months with his favourite toy Fin-fin

The one with no more will and desire to play

I guess things just keep downhill for me. For the past couple of months, I have no desire and will to play. To make things worse, my game also is falling apart.
People who know me, will know that I'm one of those 'ever-present' kind of player. I will play where ever and whenever there is a game. Just to clarify, game here means either basketball or tennis or futsal. Now I don't play as much as I do, and also I'm not even half the athlete I used to be.
I used to take pride in the fact that I can play 3 types of sports in 4-5 days a week. Now I can't even make it for once a week. Even if I do show up, its just to help make the numbers and I only do selective running.
Coincidentally, as I write this, Spurs Malaysia will begin their selection process and training for the upcoming tournament in April. Last year, I would have been first to throw my name in the hat but now I'm contemplating whether I want to even tryout myself.
Is this the price I'm paying for playing too many games in the past few years? Have I really burned myself out for good this time?

The one with my failings

Where did it all go wrong? When did the brutal fork in the road happen? I've been plagued with these questions everyday. Wasn't I destined for greatness? Wasn't the human race suppose to kneel before me?
I will be first to admit that I have failed everyone. I have failed my family. I have failed my parents. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have failed myself.
I'm going to be 33 in the middle of the year and I am nowhere near where I want to be. I can't even provide for my wife and kid.
I also will be first to admit that all this is my fault. It comes down to the financial mess I put myself in. I am way deep in debt. My salary is not enough to last the month. I can't even clear my credit card mess. Even if I do manage to clear a chunk of it, I end up using the available balance again. My cards are near to maxing out, I still have personal loans to service as well as my automobile financing. This does not include the bills I help my parents pay for the house. All this is now added with the fact that I now owe someone money.
All this because I lived beyond my means early in my career. I didn't properly manage my finances and didn't figure out how to budget my spending then. I thought I could manage because I believed I was going places. How wrong I was. Now my career has stalled.
So what does my financial mess have to do with my failings? Mainly, I have yet to own any property. I don't even have any savings to put as down payment, and now with my lousy credit standing, I doubt I'll be able to get any home-financing. I can't expect to stay in my parents house or in-laws house forever. Aidan will out-grow the confines of my bedroom one day. And what if Aidan were to have a sibling?
Now to add to that, even my dad pointed the fact I have yet to own a house. He finds it embarrassing that as a man and head of family I haven't even purchased a house. He also pointed out, that when my sisters got married, their husbands already or made in rows to buy a place. I tried, but due to my mess, I can't even think of getting one.
My dad suggested I buy my mum's place. As much as I want to, I can't even afford it. He wants me to buy it as he doesn't want the property to leave the family. And also, he is trying to help me out with a place.
Am I really underpaid and shortchanged here? I would like to think I am. People with my experience are already or if not getting a 5-figure salary, I am not even halfway close. I envy my friends who go places. Who travel to London almost every 3 months. Who go on overseas vacations to unwind every quarter. I envy those who can provide comfort for their families. But who am I to question 'rezeki orang' right?
So at the end of it all, it all comes down to me and make do with what I have.

The one with the department mess

This post can also be called the one with the mass exodus. A sad unfortunate tale really, but at the end of the day, people have to look out for their livelihood and also their own happiness.
Lets go back to the start of 2011. The department had 18 permanent staff. And now come January 2012, we have 6 from that 18 still in the department while 3 are serving their resignation notice. Of the 6, 5 of them are from my Ops & Dealing team and the other is the Acting Global Head. The Ops & Dealing team is the only team intact, while the others have already disbanded. The Sales & Training, Commodities, Capital Markets, Compliance and Marketing teams in the department has been vacated. Surprisingly this shortage is only being addressed now.
Why the mass exodus? Well for one, some have followed our former Global Head to her new gig. Some have better opportunities elsewhere and one decided to take his talents to the middle east. But whatever the reasons are, the 10 who left after the former Global Head left, decided to look for an exit after the Acting Head failed to do his job properly as well as living in his own world. It may be easy to blame the Acting Head, but thats the main reason they left.
So why is my unit the only unit intact? For one, we have a boss who takes care of his staff. Which is the reason why we are still on board. But for how long? Morale in the department is at an all time low, despite we were all (deservingly) rated as OutStanding in the recent appraisal. We are asked to help fill in for the vacant slots. Some are not even within our current skill set. While this does give us the opportunity to learn, expand and widen our experience, but moving forward this is not a long term solution.
I've been given assurances my future is safe and my boss is proposing a promotion in order to keep me on board. With everyone gone, after the Acting Head and my boss, I'm the one with the experience left. Sadly, despite the shortage of manpower and also no signs of anyone coming in, we are still assigned the now impossible targets to achieve. The targets has risen, but with the same client base.
Now it is a clearer sign the my decision to stay was the wrong choice. For now, I will stay on board, wait for the bonus (if any) and increments (if any), before deciding my next move. But I foresee the department's future itself is bleak and I should seek a new job on the unemployment line.

The one with a good game of basketball

Basketball Wednesday last night. The story of the messing booking was in the previous post.
After last week's massive turnout, the Wednesday session turned into an invite-only session. Exclusive for those who got the SMS invite. I, for one am honoured to be on the guest list.
Finished the game with 9-points, 12-rebounds, 3-assists and 2-steals. Great scoring night for me. Only took a couple of ill-advised shots. But happy to see some shots go in. One of them was a Dirk Nowitzki-esque jumper. Hit some runners in the lane, low post hook shots and some off the miss rebounds shots in mid-air.
It was finally nice to get my groove going in basketball.

The one with the poor service

Here is something different from all the sports related posts I've posted in 2012. Its about service and somehow either due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time or just damn dumb luck, I always seem to be the victim.
Let's begin with what use to be my favourite joint, Subway. As most of you know, I enjoy going to Subway. I promote it almost everyday on twitter. Every time and the Mrs go out, we must make sure there is a Subway chain in it. So one day, during lunch, I decided to go Subway. I went to an outlet where I'm a regular customer. When I arrived, I could smell the freshly baked bread. I thought to myself, "yeah, freshly baked bread". As I was just to make my order, the lady told me they ran out of bread. I in turned enquired and pointed out, "what is all this then, isn't this bread?". She told me the bread is to be delivered to another outlet. I was outraged. I thought all outlets have their own baking machines. Why must another branch bake for another?. And I am just one customer, don't tell me you can't serve me. I then left and thanked them loudly for the inability to serve one of their regulars.
I then vowed on twitter and facebook, that Subway has lost one of their regular customers. I know I'm being harsh because it is only one outlet, but for me, it just happened at the wrong time. While crossing the road to the Subway, a car ran over my feet. It was a red light for motorists and they somehow did not see people walking and crossing the road. And so, since then I haven't dined at Subway. It wouldn't teach them a lesson anyways, because they only lost one customer out of the million customers they have. Losing me as a customer would not effect their business revenues in any way. The Mrs in turn is relieved that my first suggestion for food is Subway sandwiches.
Next is my regular futsal and basketball joints.
For futsal, we have been regulars at this futsal joint for the past 8 years. I join 3 sessions there on Tuesday, Friday (though optional and cameo only) and Saturday.
Last Saturday we were asked to start later, at 5:20pm instead of at 5:00pm. The management cited the previous group started late. I said I was having none of it. They started late, that is their problem. My team knows the game is at 5 and they are all ready by 5 to 5. This is called time management. I got into a row with the group, telling them that they should manage their time properly. I told them, if there is no session after yours, then by all means, extend your playing time. But my session has been block-booked since 2004. We have been playing here way before they came. If you told me 5 more minutes maybe I can understand, but 20 minutes - no *bleep*-ing way. Told them we all have plans after the game, some have dinners or family events to attend and in my case go back to bathe my son. Maybe 20 minutes to you is nothing, but for me its very precious. In the end, the owner of the joint came in and told them to continue playing on another court.
Last night it was our basketball's joint to make a mess of things. The group has been playing since 2008 with a block-booked slot for Wednesday nights at 9:00pm. Last night they told us to start at 9:30pm. The previous week they messed up our 2-hour slot by double booking the 8-9 hour. So last night I gave them a piece of my mind (despite the fact I'm not the organizer for this session). I totally lost it when the guy told us that extending sessions is normal, since some people start late. I gave him the same earful as I did on Saturday. We also stated that this session has been block-booked since 2008, and the group before us only started playing last month. That group booked from 7:30pm to 9:00pm, but only came to play at 8:35pm. Well whose fault is that? In the end, I think the guy couldn't take it and when his boss arrived he ran away. The boss then said he did not authorize for the group to extend. So I guess the guy was messing around with the bookings.
Yes people, I do get angry when people mess around with my time.

The one with a great goal

Last Saturday was the first futsal saturday kick-off. Finished with 4 goals and 2 assists.
My first, was a personal favourite and one I enjoyed and also my friends 2 sons who were watching the game.
My teammate Kaleon chipped a corner to me, I controlled it with my right knee, brought it down and switched the ball to my left and hammered the ball home. Great goal where i wished ESPN was there to catch it for their Plays-of-the-Day.
Here's to more beautiful goals.

The one with the first tennis match of 2012

So last night I completed my futsal-basketball-tennis back-to-back-to-back tri-fecta. It felt great to be back on the tennis court.
My game however, did not go too well. My forehand wasn't working. I mistimed some shots and even miscued some of my shots too. My backhand still remains a weakness. My serve wasn't sharp enough.
We only managed one set of play since we spent the first hour trying to get our games back. In the end, me and Effi lost to Raez and Shahrin 2-6.
Hoping for a better performance in the next game.

The one with the first basketball game of 2012

Last night was the first basketball game for 2012.
It was the basketball Wednesday session and also the first time we were going for a 2-hour session. Sadly the joint messed up our booking and allowed us to start 8:30pm.
Another sad note was the reduced playing time. Turnout last night was 19 players and we were playing 4-on-4 halfcourt. So I only managed 3 games and I left at 9:30pm.
I couldn't find any rthym and only in my 3rd game I managed to put points on the board. First was a low post hook shot and second was a textbook executed mid-range jumper. I finished the night with 2 points 9 rebounds and 4 assists.
The organizer will try to get a 2-hour slot and try to manage the numbers. As fun as it was to play, the limited playing time is no fun.

The one with the first futsal game of 2012

Kicked off my futsaling activities last night. First game for 2012 and first futsal Tuesday kickoff for the year.
A very open game with plenty of end-to-end action. Goals galore since no one really cared about defence. I lost track of the final score.
I bagged a hat-trick and also laid out one assist. The first was simple enough, I collected a through-pass from Shanaz and side-footed the ball through the keepers legs. The second was an ESPN worthy highlight. Collected the ball in my own half, dribbled the ball all the way to goal beating everyone. Managed to squeeze in a shot when I stumbled after the keeper saved my initial shot. My third was scrappy. A goal-mouth scramble after I hit the post from a yard. My assist was a defensive clearance to Nasim who banged it home.
A good fun game overall.

The one with the year that was 2011

Happy 2012 people. May the new year bring you health and happiness.
Planning to post a review of my 2011. No outline of how I'm going to write this, so I'll just write as I go along.
First the main highlight of the year. The birth of my son, Aidan Danial. He came to this world on 5th September 2011 at 6.06pm. He came in weighing in at 2.65kg and 47cm in length. He will be 4 months in a couple of days, and the last check-up before Christmas he weighed 6.1kg and grew to 60cm in length.
On the sporting front, this year was the first year I decided to keep track of my stats in futsal and basketball. Yes, after all these years of playing and I've only decided to keep track of my stats when I'm past my prime.
In futsal I played a total of 64 games (eat your heart out you overpaid-footballers-who-say-you-play-too-many-games). In those 64 games, I racked up 108 goals and 112 assists, averaging 1.7 goals and 1.8 assists a game.
I've participated in 2 futsal tournaments. The KHR-organized tournament was ill-fated but the EPL supporters club fared better for me.
In basketball I've made 32 appearances and averaged 7.1 points, 15.1 rebounds, 6.9 assists, 1.4 blocks and 2 steals a game.
While I didn't keep track of my tennis stats, I did feel this was the year I improved. I felt I stalled in 2010, but think I got it together in 2011. It might not be on Roger Federer's level, but enough for me to enjoy the game.
Career wise, this year was a lost and wasted year. Nuff said.
For my beloved Spurs, 2011 was a roller coaster with plenty of ups and downs. Among the highlights was reaching the Elite-8 of the Champions League and being 3rd in the league going into 2012. The low-points was missing out of the Champions League as well as too-many dropped points in games where we should be winning especially when our rivals have lost. My player of 2011 is Luka Modric, followed closely by Gareth Bale.
A lesson I learned in 2011 was finding out who my friends are. And this was a majority of friends from when I was working in the treasury line. It seems after I left the line, I was discarded and cast aside. Only one person from the line remained a true friend. The rest, just choose to forget me. It was obvious they only needed me for business relations and nothing else. Even during the days leading to the 'decision' a lot of them called me up, but then stopped calling after I didn't take my talents to the 13th floor.
2011 was a mixed year, with the birth of my son being the highlight. May 2012 be better than 2011.