Another Monday has come and will soon go (in roughly about 3 hours). Sometimes I wonder how I manage to pull through. Then again how do I do it on a daily basis. Work as of late has not been kind. Yes I know I have been complaining about work a lot. Honestly I have no idea how long I'll be able to keep this Gandhi like patience and zen-like-calm before I finally crack or lose it (and I have been thisclose on a number of occasions).
Maybe instead of blaming everything around me, I figured I look into myself. More of a self-evaluation post on my first 3 months at my new gig. Maybe the reason I'm going through all this is I haven't been able to elevate myself to another level. Maybe my performance has not really been up to the expectations of the people around me. Not to say I've been slacking at work. I do get the job done. Well the main things that I'm expected to do. Things that I know I'm good at.
However when it comes to the extras, that's where it all kicks in. Things where I have to rely on my colleagues cooperation. And somehow getting them to cooperate is like asking them to move heaven and earth. The end product depends on what they give me, which has not made me look good as the new kid. I don't really want to get in their face because they are all more experienced than me and I don't want to show up, especially when I'm not in my element. If this was a basketball court I'll send them to school. Well that's another story.
I don't think I've adapted to the extra burden of responsibilities. It was handed over to me all of a sudden when one colleague shifted to another desk. And everything just passed over to me. Its all pretty much to take in and I have been forced to grow up too fast. Kinda like being shoved into the deep end.
But I know I am a whole lot better than this. All I need to do is refocus.
Maybe instead of blaming everything around me, I figured I look into myself. More of a self-evaluation post on my first 3 months at my new gig. Maybe the reason I'm going through all this is I haven't been able to elevate myself to another level. Maybe my performance has not really been up to the expectations of the people around me. Not to say I've been slacking at work. I do get the job done. Well the main things that I'm expected to do. Things that I know I'm good at.
However when it comes to the extras, that's where it all kicks in. Things where I have to rely on my colleagues cooperation. And somehow getting them to cooperate is like asking them to move heaven and earth. The end product depends on what they give me, which has not made me look good as the new kid. I don't really want to get in their face because they are all more experienced than me and I don't want to show up, especially when I'm not in my element. If this was a basketball court I'll send them to school. Well that's another story.
I don't think I've adapted to the extra burden of responsibilities. It was handed over to me all of a sudden when one colleague shifted to another desk. And everything just passed over to me. Its all pretty much to take in and I have been forced to grow up too fast. Kinda like being shoved into the deep end.
But I know I am a whole lot better than this. All I need to do is refocus.
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